Thursday, November 30, 2006

Do You Have a Vacation to Plan?

The following is an article I sent to my mailing list last year around this time. I've since contacted a reputable cruise planner and am thinking of organizing a short singles' trip to the Bahamas, possibly in the summer.

"The world is a book, and those who do not travel, read only a page."
- Saint Augustine

Does your employer owe you vacation time? If the answer is yes, you have an excellent opportunity to meet exciting new people! Travel for singles has become a booming industry, and for good reason.

Do you love art? History? Picture yourself strolling the ornate halls of Edinburgh Castle with the man who could become your husband. Love to ski? If you sign up for a singles' ski weekend, you could wind up finding the love of your life on the slopes (it happened to Nancy and Mike!). Does romance on the high seas sound appealing? Get thee onto a singles' cruise.

Men who travel tend to be educated and successful. Take Gary, a C.P.A who likes to see the world on two wheels and frequently signs up for singles' bike tours. In July, he rode alongside the crystalline waters off Nova Scotia's Cape Breton Island with scores of like-minded people.

And that's one of the great thing about singles' travel: You're bound to meet others with whom you have something in common. Check out a couple of tour providers, see what they offer, and discern the average age of their participants (make sure you don't end up with the under-30 crowd if you're hoping to meet a man over 40, and vice versa!).

Check the Better Business Bureau to ensure the provider has a record of excellent service, kept promises, and happy customers. Then, take a deep breath, decide where you want to go, and book a trip.

What if you don't have a friend to drag along with you? Swallow hard and book anyway. When I was single I took two vacations by myself (they weren't singles' tours per se, but I stayed in Bed and Breakfasts, forcing me to socialize over rolls and coffee in the morning). I had the time of my life, met fascinating people, and learned a great deal about myself at the same time.

Afraid of looking like a friendless loser by traveling solo? Worry not. You'll look every inch the winner who takes advantage of life's opportunities. If anybody asks (and I truly doubt anyone will) why you're traveling alone, you can say, "I needed a vacation." Who doesn't?

To get started, do a search for tour operators who cater to singles, or query your own friendly neighborhood travel agent for advice. Make sure the tour operator you choose has an excellent safety record, especially if you will be traveling alone.

Will you meet the man of your dreams on a singles' vacation? Maybe. But, chances are, you'll make exciting new friends, who'll introduce you to more new friends, new men, and happy new experiences. You'll also learn a lot about an attractive, confident, smart woman (you!) in the process.

Go for it!

Get noticed.

NBC's Warped Priorities

Although I'm sorry to hear that Greg from The Wiggles
is sick and quitting the group, I am a bit surprised that The Today Show ran the story at 7:20 this morning.

I somehow doubt that the children of Darfur are very banged up about Greg's departure when their parents, friends, and neighbors are being massacred every single day. (To be fair, NBC's Ann Curry is one of the few American journalists who's even covered the genocide.)

If you'd like to help, you can sign an online postcard and ask President Bush to promote peace in the region.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Aladdin Factor

I bought this book several years ago, put it on a shelf, and forgot about it.

I developed a sudden urge to read it last week, so I scoured my 96 bookcases to find it. I have to say, it's absolutely amazing. If you're like me and sometimes hesitant to ask for what you want (for whatever reason), this book will help you. The first exercise alone blew my mind.



Attract a man who's worthy of you for a change.

Monday, November 27, 2006

She Wants Her Ex Back

Dear Terry:

I have one for you: I was married to my ex for 25 years, and our divorce was tragic because we still loved each other. He remarried about two years ago, during which he and his wife have only lived in the same house for six months. They have issues regarding him and me.

Ex and I still love each other and have made an agreement to renew our friendship. I want him back as my husband, and I think he wants the same. We both got hurt very badly. I am able to forgive all that has occurred, yet I don't have a clue on how to regrow a friendship when, for me, the friendship never ended. We are both are cautious, and neither us desires to be hurt.

I have asked him to allow us to set new boundaries, and I could use some help. We are both are very opinionated and strong willed. We have four children and four grandchildren, and at one time we had a wonderful family and marriage. I need help in getting honest communication without manipulation. When my marriage ended, it was due to infidelity.

-D


Dear D-

I understand that you and your ex-husband may very strong feelings for one another. What concerns me is that he is married. If he were to leave his present wife to be with you, would this be a good thing? Would this raise doubts in your own mind about how capable he is of a successful marriage?

You don't say who was unfaithful in your marriage, but if it was he, has he ever examined his reasons for hurting you so profoundly? If it was you, have you thought about your reasons for hurting him?

Would he be willing to communicate more effectively, or at least learn how to do so? You say that you would be, which is a good first step.

If you and he decide that you do want to pursue a love relationship, counseling would be your very best hope. A good counselor could help you communicate and determine the reasons for the infidelity in your marriage, so that you are both less likely to be hurt again. He or she may be even able to help you develop the trust necessary for a happy relationship.

Since you do have children and grandchildren together, family counseling is probably a good idea. You'll probably have to see each other regularly regardless what type of relationship you pursue.

I realize that you're in pain, and I hope this helps.

Terry

Turn his head.

Dazzle 'Em Cheaply

As we kick off party season, it always good to head out in one's black velvet coat with sparkling white teeth. For many years, I was what my dentist calls, "a good candidate for bleaching," due to my love for tea and red wine (which I am not willing to give up).

I thought about bleaching but decided to try drugstore remedies first. I tried the whitening strips, only to end up wandering around the house lisping and feeling as if I had eaten a roll of scotch tape. Then I tried all sorts of toothpastes, starting with the more expensive ones because I assumed they'd be more effective.

While visiting a friend in September, I happened upon a copy of Consumer Reports, which named Ultra Brite toothpaste the best stuff on the market. I immediately wheeled over to my local retailer and picked up a tube for about two dollars.

Sure enough, people are now complimenting me on the whiteness of my teeth. Child 2 has stopped complaining, "Man, Mommy, your teeth are yellow."

Ultra Brite works.

If you can't get to the store, buy it from Drugstore.com for $2.19.

Attract a man who's worthy of you for a change.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Rocky Horror and Sugar Plums

Tension reached operatic proportions on Thanksgiving when Peter and I got lost in the night rain near Route 22 in New Jersey. The sign at the state entrance should include a photo of Peter with a red circle and a slash across it. Peter hates New Jersey, and by the number of times we've gotten lost there, the feeling is mutual.

He winds himself up into a frenzy before we even leave the house about going to "that godforsaken state" (even though one of his oldest friends and much of my family lives there). If you believe in the Law of Attraction, as I most certainly do, the guy set us up for disaster on Thursday.

We ended up getting cut off on Route 1-9, careening up a curb, and mangling our front right rim and tire. The scene reminded me of the one in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, where Brad and Janet's tire blew out, necessitating their visit to the Frankenstein Place. But Brad and Janet didn't have two freaked out children quivering in their back seat.

We made a call to Aunt L's and asked her to start dinner without us, but she wouldn't. Peter managed to creep the car into a Daffy's parking lot, so my cousin, K, and her boyfriend the podiatrist (both of whom knew the area well) offered to drive over and fish us out. We made it to a lovely dinner about an hour later without additional drama, although I did pour myself a monster glass of wine as soon as we arrived.

Yesterday morning at breakfast my cousin, K2, told me a story: His mother (my aunt) used to make him stepdance at assemblies at his school on Staten Island. For the rest of the year, all the other boys--who descended from cultures that did not include males hopping around in skirts--would knock him against the wall in the boys' room and shriek, "Dance for me! Are ya gonna dance for me?"

Eventually, K2 had an idea. He made a deal with his mother that if he made the basketball team, he could quit stepdancing. Fortunately, he was a natural athlete and had almost closed in on his full height of 6'5 3/4 inches. (He didn't tell me this, but he later became a team star and local celebrity.)

I guess you can overcome just about anything if you can overcome being a male stepdancer on Staten Island.

I'm told my brother-in-law is currently perched atop a ladder decorating his house for Christmas, so the holiday season is officially upon us. Be good to yourself and stay away from sugar. It's worse than I thought.

Before you go to the party, you must be able to do this.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

His Parents Don't Approve of the Relationship...

Hi, Terry-

I just downloaded your e-book and am going thru it. I got the right man, and I am dating him for the past year. But the problem is his family is not accepting for our marriage, and he doesn't want to go against his family. But I want to marry him because I feel he is Mr. Right for me. Please guide me.

Thanks,
-S


Hello, S-

I am very sorry that your man's family is resistant to your marriage. I know of two couples who weathered similar circumstances with different results:

E and R's parents opposed their marriage due to religious differences. Neither E or R wanted to hurt their families, so they broke off their relationship. It hurt, but they did it.

B and L also came from different backgrounds. All of B's family's marriages had been arranged, including his parents' and his two sisters.' B explained to his parents that, as much as he loved them, L was the woman he was going to marry, and they would have to accept her into their family. They did, and now L and B are expecting their fourth child.

The thing is, S, there is nothing you can do to convince your boyfriend to stand up to his parents. He must make that decision on his own.If he doesn't want to "go against" them, then why is he wasting your time? You deserve better than this.

It would be sad if you missed out on an opportunity to meet and marry a wonderful man because you have been distracted this one.I understand that you care a great deal for your boyfriend and cannot just turn off your emotions, but he has a decision to make. And once he makes it, you need to make a decision, too.

I hope this helps.

Terry

Hi, Terry-

Thank you for taking time and writing to me.

Yes, I was reluctant to accept the fact, but after reading the book How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Drams, I made up my mind that I will follow all your principles and wait for the right man to come into my life. Please keep up your emails.

Thanks.
-S


Flirting made easy.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Hungry Girl

While surfing local newspaper sites in search of reviews for the recently released movie, Fast Food Nation, I came upon this recipe for a slimming version of sweet potato pie. It looks absolutely amazing, except I would substitute stevia, a natural sweetener, for Splenda.

Intrigued, I followed the link a the bottom of the article to Hungry Girl, a website offering "tips and tricks for hungry chicks." Which would be me.

Subscribers to my mailing list know I live to entertain. Unfortunately, I also love to eat and fought a weight problem for years. So Hungry Girl and her site seem to be right up my alley.

HG seems to emphasize being able to enjoy food while looking great and staying healthy, rather than trying to compete with Eva Longoria to slip into the teeniest bikini on Rodeo Drive.

By the way, I'm taking the advice I give my readers this Saturday. I'm throwing a little football gathering, and we're rooting for Notre Dame!

Stop dating bad boys who hurt you and nice guys who bore you blind. Attract a man who'll actually make you happy for the rest of your life. You deserve nothing less!

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Learn the Rules of Attraction

These books changed my life. I'll bet they'll change yours, too.



"So let's be reminded that whatever we fix our thoughs upon or steadily focus our imaginations upon, that is what we attract. This is no mere play of words. It is a fact which anyone can prove to his own satisfaction. Whether the results come through magnetic or electrical energy is something still undetermined; while man hasn't been able to define it, manifestations of thought-attraction can be seen on every hand."

-From The Magic of Believing, by Claude Bristol



"When you open your eyes in the morning, say to yourself, "I choose happiness today. I choose success today. I choose right action today. I choose love and good will for all today. I choose peace today. Pour life, love, and interest into this affirmation, and you have chosen happiness."

-From The Power of Your Subconscious Mind , by Dr. Joseph Murphy



"There are so many ways that affirmations can be used powerfully and effectively to give you a more positive, creative outlook and to help you achieve specific goals.

Remember, it's important to feel relaxed as you affirm. Do not be addicted to getting results. Remember that you already are everything you need; every improvement is just icing on the cake."

-From Creative Visulization ,by Shakti Gawain



"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

-Matthew 7:6-8, New International Version

Even shy girls can learn how to do this.

Friday, November 17, 2006

She Made My Day

Received this letter in response to a tip I sent to my mailing list.
earlier this week. This smart woman offers great advice and describes her triumph after getting rid of an insecure, oppressive man:

Hello there, Terry:

How right you are on every count.

I was madly in love (or so I thought) with a man who hated that I was being promoted (as we worked together). I thought it was just macho jealousy and tried hard to down play all my ideas, and all he did was be moody. I got rumours that he had indeed cheated on me one weekend, but as I had no proof, and I did not want it to be true I choose to ignore it.

Fast forward two years, a move to another country, a dying father and then finding out I was pregnant, we see a man competing with my father for my affection, would not let me go out with friends alone as he was so insecure and gave me no emotional help when my father died or help in getting things ready for our child. In fact, he looked in disgust at everything remotely to do with children. Then he not only had an affair but brought the girl back to our house for some fun when I was 8 months pregnant. That killed it off for me, but it took another two years for him to be truly out of our lives.

I was a person with good social skills who was well liked, very attractive, and had a wonderful, full life. So it shows you can be really dumb and blind and pay for it in a huge way. Now my daughter is four, and I am finally finding I have a life again. I advise anyone with a insecure man to dump him before you forget who you are and then have to fight just to get your life back. I'm on my own now and loving every free, peaceful, wonderful moment to do simple things without having to hide everything just to live.

Would I let someone in my life again? It would have to be someone really, really special and secure, because I deserve nothing less. EVER.

Thank you for your advice, wish I got it four years ago in one sense, but in another I have an incredible little girl, who was never in my plans. I can't even begin to imagine having lived without her adorable smile.


Attract a man who's worthy of you for a change.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Beautiful Skin is In

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a skin care fiend. This is nothing new; I've been at it since 7th grade. Learned something else about rosacea this morning when my friend, C, emailed me this revealing article.

The irony is that another woman and I met yesterday at Panera Bread and discussed this very subject, how one's PH balance affects health. I understand that low PH levels invite all sorts of disease, including cancer. After reading the article I understand that they also affect one's complexion, which makes sense.

Fortunately, diet plays an enormous factor in determining PH.

I followed the link at the bottom of the article to learn which foods are low PH (or acidic) and which are high (or alkaline) and came up with this.

Apparently, every single thing I ate and drank at the Amazing V's Silpada party last night was deadly acidic, so I tested my PH this morning with the strips that had been languishing in a my file drawer. I am indeed scarily acidic.

Will devour a pile of lemons momentarily (they're alkaline)!

In another freakish twist, Rosie O'Donnell is right this second discussing her battle with rosacea on The View . She said it disappeared after she took Ayurvedic pills that were recommended to her by a man sitting next to her at a Barbra Streisand concert.

Attract the man of your dreams.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

People Have Gotten Married After Doing This

In my zeal to tell you about a great idea to meet men in the post below, I neglected to tell you to click here to sign up for this free and very fun service.

Sorry!

Isn't it time someone threw you a shower for a change?

Meet Men By Mail (It's Not What You Think)

You don't have to be Irish to take advantage of the free Irish penpals program. You don't even have to write to an Irishman if you don't want to. I've made French, German, and English friends through it, and they're all women.

But you can request a male friend. The following testimonial appeared in the September issue of the entertaining Information About Ireland Site Newsletter:

Hi. My name is David, and about 4 years ago, I visited your site. I read a message from a woman in Germany and replied to it. We found that we had a lot in common and wrote to each other for about a year. We were both divorced, and neither one of us were looking for any kind of relationship other than emails. To make a long story short, I met the love of my life through your web site and we have been married for two-and-a-half years now.

Thanks,
David Ison
Miami, Florida

Bewitch him.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Clear Skin to Break Into Dance Over

Note: This post has nothing to do with dating. If you'd rather not read about my complexion or my social life, please scroll down.

Went to the dinner-dance I mentioned last week and felt fantastic. I finally got to wear the dress my mother and I picked out for another event that didn't come off, and it was just gorgeous (Mom was diagnosed with brain cancer shortly after our shopping trip and died last summer).

Rosacea update: I'm happy to report that a combination of probiotics, omega-3 softgels, and Arbonne's Rejuvenating Cream have produced good results. I haven't experienced any new breakouts, and my skin absolutely glows. I am still saddled with three small dots next to my mouth; they're slowly healing, but they're definitely healing.

Just so you know: I never had "bad skin," but in the past few years, I developed rosacea, which necessitated the use of a good powder to cover it. I feared that I would end up on a desert island, and the truth would come out. I'd eat something (like a spring sausage, for instance), and my face would sting and go bright red. Little red spots would sprout all over my face. It was really demoralizing.

An earlier post describes how I happened upon the idea of alleviating this drama by supplementing my diet. I've also read good things about the Arbonne Rejuvenating Cream. Until last week or so, it remained one of those unsexy products my eye skipped over on my way to the cosmetics and antiaging skincare in the catalog.

More about the dance: Excellent food! Met some friendly new people, and the band played "Play That Funky Music, White Boy." I am a dancing fool for "Play That Funky Music, White Boy."

No cameras allowed!

Attract a man who's worthy of you for a change.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Britney Calls It Quits

While we contemplate the demise of the Spears/Federline union, it's a good idea to remember never to marry a man who has a pregnant girlfriend.

At Toastmasters today, a woman gave a lovely talk about her husband, a man who gets up at 3AM to go to work. He kisses her before he leaves and tells her to drive safely. Then she tells him to drive safely.

She's an executive who doesn't get home until after 8PM, so her husband falls asleep on her side of the bed to warm it up. Just as she's about to drop into bed, he rolls over onto his side.

As I left, I asked her how they met. She said it was in grammar school, and it's evident that she's still madly in love with him. Then she mentioned that her 25-year-old-son is frustrated because he has not yet met "the one," especially since his parents knew who they'd spend their lives with from such an early age.

Makes Britney and Kevin seem kind of silly, doesn't it?

Sick and tired? Feel like your old self again in 8 simple steps.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Paul Newman Called Me...

...and half the rest of the state in a recorded message reminding us it's Election Day. I'm just back home from the polls myself and am enjoying that euphoria I always get after a good vote.

If you haven't gone yet, please do. If you've managed to tune out the evil campaign commercials that have plagued us for weeks (and the half-truths contained therein), do a search for "League of Women Voters." You can look up your state chapter's website for non-partison information about candidates' positions on the issues.

Want to get a guy's attention? Here's how.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Skinny Bitch

Last night, Peter and I got a call asking us to go to a formal dinner next Saturday. Ordinarily, I would be over the moon at the prospect of dressing up and would have looked forward to it for weeks.

But I'm expected to yank myself out of squirrely writer mode on six days' notice?

And we have to find a babysitter pronto, andI think I've gained a pound or two since the last dinner-dance we attended. I've a gorgeous, never-worn dress hanging in my closet (my mother, who has since died, helped me pick it out for an event that ended up being canceled).

Oh! I have gained a pound or two.

Well, we can fix that in a hurry. I'll drink oceans of lemon water this week and eat organic. No meat! No dairy! (A week without cheese will be a real challenge, especially since I hadn't time to psych myself up for it. I am a fool for cheese.)

I'll pull my favorite food book off the shelf for inspiration:



WARNING: If profanity offends you, stay away from this book! But if you don't blink at swear words, and you could use some novel advice on how to get healthy and take the pounds off, check it out. It's a riot!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Can Plastic Surgery Buy You Love?

Why do women have plastic surgery? To look younger? Prettier? Or is it for something much deeper? It smacks of masochism, and the result is rarely positive. Most plastic surgery victims end up looking, well, plastic. They do not look younger, and they certainly don't look prettier.

I've read about women who can't stop scheduling surgeries once they start. It becomes an obsession. Doctors report that renovations to private parts increasingly crowd their calendars.

Middle-class women jeopardize their retirements by paying for such operations with plastic, not cash.

Back in the day, a friend and I hit a club in Great Neck, where we met a male acquaintance of hers. "I'm impressed," he said. "You girls are the only two in here with their original noses." Trust me, healthy men do not want to date the Barbi Twins.

Plastic surgery cannot buy you love, self-respect, or happiness. If you think your ankles are too thick, consider your lengthy lashes or your gorgeous skin. Focus on your attributes. Accept the fact that you are not perfect, and you never will be.

Be open to the possibility that someone will love you and your fat ankles. Somebody will be fascinated by the bump on your nose. These are some of the things that make you you. Be glad you have them.

Sick and tired? Former fatigue sufferer can help you get your groove back.

Desperate Brad Pitt's Heartbreak!

When was the last time you read a headline like that? I don't remember ever seeing one, but I've read plenty like these:

JENNIFER DUMPED AGAIN! CAN SHE EVER FIND LOVE?

NICOLE BREAKS DOWN AFTER LEARNING OF KEITH'S AFFAIR

BRAD CAUGHT WITH HOOKER! SHATTERED ANGELINA IN TEARS

I read similar crap yesterday (the third example is a real headline from the National Enquirer), as I checked out a bunch of organic bananas at the supermarket. It occurs to me that women are always the victims of heartbreak in the tabloid press. Men are invulnerable.

My 10-year-old daughter once commented to me that "Britney is really mad at Kevin because he goes out with his girlfriend all the time." When I asked her where she'd heard that, she told me she'd read it on a magazine cover at the supermarket. I have to wonder what damage such nonsense has inflicted on her psyche.

Will she grow up believing that love is dangerous, that she is destined to be heartbroken, that she should accept it as fact that men always cheat because they, as Goldie Hawn once told the women on The View, are programmed to do it?

I am making it my job to ensure she does not. I want her to know that love may be a many splendored thing, but it should never be the only thing. I will encourage her to disqualify men who sleep around. I will teach her to treat men as she would have them treat her, and to discard those who do not treat her similarly.

Beliefs determine reality.

If she believes that good men exist and that she is worthy of being loved by one, she will be. But if she believes the message promoted by tabloids, women's magazines, and pop songs--that no man can ever love one woman for very long--she'll attract men who prove her right every single time.

You can get his attention. Learn how to flirt.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Attracting True Love: Your Holiday Action Plan

Holiday season will soon be upon us. Here's a quick course to help ensure you spend a romantic, magical new year with the kind of man you've always dreamed about:

1) Love yourself. It's been said that you can't love anybody else until you love yourself. Well, I'll go one further: Nobody can love you until you love yourself, either. Until you do, you will continue to attract losers, abusers, schmoozers, and No-Show Joes. Love yourself, and you will attract men who love you and make you happy. It's that simple.

2) Bring to mind all the frogs you've kissed over the years. Write a list of the qualities you didn't like about them. How did they disappoint you?

3) Turn that list around. Write the opposite quality for every bad quality you listed. For example, if your former boyfriends were unfaithful, dishonest, manipulative, unreliable, you'd turn the list around to read: faithful, truthful, respectful of my feelings, and reliable.

4) Write an affirmation around your new list using the present tense. For example, "I am happily married (or involved with) a faithful, truthful, reliable man, who is fun to be with and respectful of my feelings." (Add the word "fun" to ensure you don't attract the nice but boring type.)

5) Write your affirmation 10-15 times a day for at least 30 days. It helps to conjure the sensation of how you'd feel when you are actually with the person you've described (feeling the affirmation helps convince the subconscious that what you're writing is fact). If you're feeling ambitious, try writing your affirmation with your non-dominant hand three to six times.

6) For the next 30 days, speak your affirmation: In the shower, in the car, while you're cooking dinner (but not on the bus or in a restaurant; people will laugh at you). Again, allow yourself to feel it. This may take time, but keep at it.

7) Be the person you want to marry. If you want a truthful man, be truthful. If you want somebody who resists playing head games, don't play them. If you want somebody polite, turn your cell phone off before you go into a movie theater.

8) Love yourself. Yes, I'm repeating myself, but loving yourself ensures you attract good men (as well as good jobs, good friends, good parties). What's more, you'll be more likely to recognize all this goodness when it appears.

9) Become aware of inner changes. After a while, you'll begin to attract a different kind of man. More important, you'll be attracted to a different type of man. Man-meeting opportunities will suddenly become abundant. Take notice.

Want more? Get more.