Saturday, August 12, 2006

He Doesn't Know What the Hell He Wants

Hi, Terry-

I met a guy. He wants to get married and have kids. He broke up with his girlfriend a few weeks ago. He was up-front about it. He does not like to be alone and goes from one relationship to the next. He admitted that he is a serial monogomist. I told him up front I wanted to take things slow. He said no problem. He was very interested, and we dated for a few weeks until his ex-girlfriend kept calling him. I told him he needed some closure with her. He got back with her, but we had contact again and went out.

He told me he is confused, but I am the type of girl he wants to be with. He knows deep down she is not for him but can't seem to let go. He is the type that likes to be told what to do. I told him that he needs to make his own decision. We hung out and had fun. He kept asking about getting married. etc. I said, slow down; I just want to date and get to know you. Who knows what the future brings? The next day, we text one another, and now I have not spoken to him in four days. I know he saw the on/off girlfriend. He is very honest and always responds, but now he has not.

Is this the typical guy behavior? I do know all about the actions speaking louder than words. I guess I figured he would give the courtesy of calling saying he is staying with the ex.


Hello, K-

No, this is not typical guy behavior. It is behavior typical of someone who doesn't know what he wants and is probably never going to sit down long enough to figure it out.

You sound like a sensible person; you told him you wanted to take things slow, and he told you he wanted to get married and have children. Then he flitted back to the ex-girlfriend he knows is "not for him."

After the disappearing act, the guy couldn't even manage to give you the courtesy of a clear-cut "I'm going back to the old girlfriend." Do you really have room in your life for such an individual? I think you deserve quite a bit more than what he can offer.

Repeat: This is not typical guy behavior.

When dating, use this rule: Treat others as you would have them treat you, and if they don't treat you as you would treat them, hit the highway.

To your happily ever after,