Thursday, March 13, 2008

Dating a Moody and Manipulative Man

Ever get a phone call from a guy that goes like this?

He says, "Hey."

You say, "Hey."

Uncomfortably long pause.

You say, "Is everything okay?"

He says, "Yep."

Uncomfortably long pause.

You say, "So what's going on?"

He says, "Not too much."

You say, "Is everything okay? You sound a little weird."

He says, "Why do you say that?"

You say, "I don't know, I...."

Uncomfortably long pause.

You say, "Listen, did I do something?"

He says, "Why do you say that? Did you do something?"

You say, "No, I-- I was just wondering. You seem a little weird, that's all. Is everything okay?"

He says, "You tell me."

And so on.

Unless you have indeed done something heinous (like sleeping with his brother, breaking into his safety-deposit box, killing his dog) to deserve this person's passive-aggressive treatment, your best bet is this:

Say, in your usual pleasant fashion, "Well, I've got to go. I'll talk to you later."

If he asks when, say, "I don't know." Then tell him goodbye and hang up.

Trust me, the worst thing that could ever happen to you is to get in any deeper with this man (or, heaven forbid, marry him!). His goal in life is either to make everything your fault, or to manipulate you into feeling you owe him something.

He will make you miserable for the rest of your life.

Run for the hills.