Friday, January 18, 2008

Some Excellent Advice About Men

After my cousin got married in 1987, she told me something that served me well in my dating life.

"Don't ever get serious with any guy who hasn't lived on his own."

It goes without saying that a 35-year-old guy still living in his parents' basement should be tossed on the reject pile, but she meant guys in their 20s.

She insisted that if I married some 26-year-old guy who lived with Mommy until the wedding, I'd be in for a rough ride. I'd soon learn that he hadn't the foggiest idea about mopping floors, let alone wiping up that annoying dust that accumulates on toilet tank covers. I'd be picking his socks and underwear off the floor even as I got dressed for work.

"All you'll be getting is a baby to take care of," my cousin told me. "And if you plan to have babies, you don't need another baby."

Interestingly, a study out of the Netherlands discovered that a partner who does his share of the cleaning is way more of a turn-on than a sluggard who doesn't. A woman's best bet for marital happiness, then, is to marry a man who scrubs toilets.

As for my cousin, I saw her at another cousin's funeral in October. Twenty years of marriage and four children later, she looked remarkably the same. I guess having a husband who helps with the housework means less wear and tear on your looks, too.