Friday, September 02, 2005

Her Long-Distance Relationship

Hi Terry,

Two years ago I met a wonderful guy, but I was going through a phase and things didn't work out. Destiny seems to have put us together again, although now he lives in Montreal and I live in Mexico. He now has a job that will bring him to Mexico once every two months.

On his first trip, he was supposed to be here for a week, but he has been here for two-and-a-half and will be leaving on Monday. We've had a really wonderful time together. I really want to make this work, but I don't want to pressure him. He seems very happy too.

What is your best advice on long-distance relationships? We want this to work!

Thanks-
Out on a Limb in Mexico


Okay, Limb-

Before the man heads for the airport, tell him the truth: You care about him, and you hope to hear from him often.

Then let it go. The ball will be in his court, so let him take the initiative and contact you after he gets to Montreal. If he calls and you're not in, call him back. (If you don't hear from him, wait a few days and call to make sure he got home safely. But only call once.)

The man should definitely know that you care about him, but he should never get the sense that you're sitting by the phone waiting for him to call.

While he's away, try not to focus on him as if he's the last bus out of the depot. Make a point to do the things you love. Treat yourself well. Go out with your friends, but keep your conversation about Mr. Montreal to a minimum. Do not obsess over him.

Take comfort in this: You cannot make any relationship, long-distance or otherwise, happen. It will develop in its own time, if it's meant to be, and if you don't push it.

Have a wonderful last weekend with this fellow. When you kiss him goodbye, make sure he knows that you'll miss him. Then walk away and leave the next move up to him.

To your happily ever after,
Terry