Thursday, June 25, 2009

He Said He Loved Her, and Then He Said He Didn't Know

Dear Terry,

I need your suggestion and help. I love a guy I met through Internet.
In the beginning, I was not serious about him. He said he loved me. We are talking from around two months, and now sometimes he says he has never felt love, and then sometimes he says he loves me.

I'm having my exams after this week, and I am disturbed. I don't know what to do because I am serious about him. I haven't told anyone about this matter, so if you can help me, I will be very thankful.

- He Loves Me, Loves Me Not

Dear Loves Me-

First off, good luck with your exams. Concentrate on those exams!

Whenever a person tells you he loves you and soon after tells you he's never "felt love," it's time to reconsider his potential as a boyfriend. He's a sad character. He also could be a number of other things, including manipulative, wishy-washy, inconsiderate of others' feelings, or just plain lost.

You deserve better than this.

Furthermore, you mentioned that you weren't serious about him at first, but (if I'm reading this right) that you fell for him after he told you he loved you. A lot of us do this; a man tells us he loves us, and we look for reasons to return his affection because -- who knows? -- he might be our last chance.

But, until this guy gets his act together, I'd walk away, focus on my exams and my future, read a few good books, and decide to enjoy life. Remember the Golden Rule: "Treat others as you would have them treat you." Ask yourself, "Would I tell a man I loved him, and then turn around and tell him I'd never 'felt' love before?"

If the answer is no, ask yourself why you are allowing an individual who won't afford you the same consideration to hold such power over you. Life is too short for this nonsense.

I'll say it again: You deserve better.