People I Would Prefer Not to Sleep With

I would like to start 2005 by announcing the names of men I have no desire to sleep with, even though the media insist otherwise:

Tom Cruise
Jack Nicholson
Colin Farrell
Mick Jagger
Sean Connery
Michael Douglas
Usher
Rod Stewart
Justin Timberlake
The racoon who plays Ryan on All My Children
Anybody who has dated (or married) Jennifer Lopez

Here is a list of people I once desired to sleep with but don't anymore:

Kyle Secor (who played Tim Bayliss on Homicide: Life on the Streets)
Liam Neeson
Colin Firth
Greg Lake

I would also like to announce that I will (do you hear me? Will!) finish revising my novel once and for freaking all, and I will (yes, will!) query one agent per day from January 5th through Feb 3rd.

And if I don't, you have my express permission to take me by the shoulders and shake me.