Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Auditioning to Be a Guy's Wife

Three dates into a relationship, some women figure they've got a big fish on the hook, and they'd better reel him in fast. They start doing all sorts of wacky things, desperately hoping to make themselves indespensible to the guy.

This kind of woman wants him to see her potential as primo wife material right away, so she:

-Offers to pick up his dry cleaning

-"Makes up a plate" for him at barbecues and buffets, instead of letting him get it himself

-Insists on cooking for him instead of going out for dinner

-Makes his bed

-Slowly but steadfastly moves her belongings into his house and takes over the housework

-Offers to babysit his nieces and nephews (or his children), so he can see what a spectacular mother she'd make.

Females who choose this route usually get taken for granted. They're eventually discarded. Sure, certain guys may jump to marry such women, but they tend to be those who stay out all night with their buddies and refuse to change diapers.

A man who likes a challenge and enjoys the company of an intellectual equal will quickly grow bored. Challenging women are sexy. Women who chase after men with paper plates dripping with cole slaw are not.

Once a relationship is established (and what relationship is established after three dates? How long did it take you to get to know your best friend, for example?), it's fine to offer to pick up a guy's dry cleaning. But he should also offer to pick up yours every now and then.

Don't be quick to jump into sex roles. If the man likes to cook, congratulations. By all means, let him. If you like to fix flat tires, don't suppress the urge. Be yourself. Let him be himself. Allow your relationship to develop organically. Discover who a man really is before deciding he's "the one."

Take your time. The worst thing that can happen is that you won't wrangle yourself into a bad marriage. Remember: This is your life we're talking about.