Saturday, December 02, 2006

Cameron Diaz Is a Commitmentphobe

Apparently, Cameron Diaz told Ellen DeGeneres that she won't marry Justin Timberlake because she's a commitmentphobe. Since the media and society in general assume that it's always the man in a relationship who avoids sealing the deal, I'm so glad Cameron set the record straight.

A lot of women fear commitment. I was one of them, but I only had the vaguest sense of it at the time. I had a gift for attracting (and being attracted to) men with similar issues.

Nobody has to get married. Let's face it; too many women end up with the wrong guy because other people imply they're losers until they have rings on their fingers.

I remember a newly engaged friend's father asking me, "And when are you going to get married?"

"I'm too young," I protested.

"Too young?" the man hooted. "You're already 24!"

You'd think I was hobbling around in orthopedic shoes.

At 27, I realized that I had a full-blown terror of commitment. Seriously. I took steps to resolve it, and I did resolve it. (My book has the details.)

But, unless they're inclined otherwise, people like Cameron Diaz don't have to conquer commitmentphobia. I'll say it again: Nobody has to get married. The last time I looked, it wasn't in the Ten Commandments.

How I got over my fear of commitment.