You're No Paris Hilton

Dear Terry,

I met a man a couple of months ago, and we liked one another. Problem is, I live in the USA, and he lives in France. He asked me for pictures so, I sent him some nice photos of myself.

But this isn't what he wanted. One night while we were IMing each other, he said he had something to show me and sent me a naked picture of himself. I was taken aback for a moment.

The next day he e-mails me, telling me to send him nude pictures of myself. He says he "wants to know all of me." I was polite, but I told him I don't do that kind of thing. When the time is right, he will see me. But not on a screen.

He kept insisting, "If you love me, you will do this." I feel it is emotional blackmail. I told him I respect myself. If it meant not seeing him again then, so be it. He let up on me. Now he is starting the same old story. If I have to hear his reasoning one more time, I will scream!

Why does he insist? Is he mad? Maybe he wants to make sure he is getting "Miss Perfect." If I'm not perfect, then he will go away. Please advise me. I am tired of this. If he wants to be with me, then he must respect me.

I haven't e-mailed him as much. He wants to know what is wrong with me. I don't want to keep going over this subject. Thank you for listening. Help me?

-No Nude Is Good Nude


Hello, No Nude-

Whatever you do, do not--I repeat--do not send Henri naked pictures of yourself. Your instincts are right. Think about it: What if you were to email him the pictures, and he were to get mad at you about something? What might he do with those photos then? Blackmail you with them? Your image could be all over the Internet.

You're also right to take a statement as lame as, "If you loved me, you will do this," as a warning sign. If he loved you, he'd respect your feelings about the matter and let it drop.

I have serious reservations about this fellow. I really admire you for standing up to him, though, and I encourage you to stick to your guns. The next time somebody says, "If you loved me, you'd....," you can answer, "I guess you're right. I don't love you."

You can do better than this clown.

To your happily ever after,

Terry