Monday, November 19, 2007

She's Getting the Attention She Deserves

Last month, I received a letter from a reader of my free newsletter who was stuck on a man who didn't give her the love she deserved (click here to read it).

Here's her happy update:

Hi, Terry:

Just keep reading the newsletters and things are definitely getting better. I don't call guys, yet I've never had so many men interested.

Recently a good male friend has started asking me out on "dates." Last night we went to the cinema. He says I'm a strange woman in that I have really improved with age (ahem, I'm barely 40), and he really thinks I'm amazing lately. So some of your tips I'm trying are noticeable to someone who knew me for over 20 years.

This man has now asked me to his Christmas Dinner Dance. I also have various other men asking me out for dinner, texting and emailing. My "friend" says he's beginning to be a bit uncomfortable with all the male attention I'm getting. (So I'm definitely moving out of the friend category, although he never minded before in our long platonic friendship).

I don't know if I want to date this guy seriously, yet. But dating other guys is making it easier to see what I'm looking for in a man. Multiple dating also stops you calling or texting one guy and looking needy.

The crux of this is: that my Platonic Friend who has played the field and been emotionally unavailable to many beautiful women who couldn't really catch him, well he is now really noticing me as a woman and trying to catch me. Your advice and tips have a lot to do with this.

Also, another very nice divorced guy was asking me out, when I discovered he played golf EVERY Saturday (and then some). I asked some questions and found out it was not just because he was single, but had always and would always, I blew him out. (No wonder he's divorced). Working 40 hours leaves little enough leisure time to work at a relationship, if someone is missing inflexibly every single Saturday, they are more than likely not going to give 100%, or make you a priority. With "hitting a few balls" two or three times a week, weekends away with the boys, and Sunday competitions, an EXTREME or obsessed golfer is just too selfish and will not give himself enough for a happy relationship.

It is just such a time consuming sport, and here in Ireland a lot of time is spent in the 19th hole afterwards. Why bother with a man married to his golf? I tried being a golf widow and it is no fun. Now I have some non negotiables regarding the men I date and life is getting better :))

It's a work in progress, Terry.

Thanks again.

No Longer Dating An Indifferent Man

Hi, No Longer-

Your news thrills me to no end. Thanks for the nice words, but you really have nobody to thank but yourself! You're the one who's making the difference.

I love the way you put things. The "19th hole?" You crack me up.