Wednesday, February 21, 2007

How to Win Him Back

If you've been dating a guy, and he's suddenly busy, his calls have dropped off, and he's just not giving you the attention he used to, it's upsetting. It's especially so if he came on strong at first when you weren't even particularly interested in him.

All of a sudden, he's acting as if he's doing you a big favor.

How do you get his attention again? First off, determine if you really and truly want his attention (you may be thinking, 'Of course I do,' but please slow down and think this over).

If you decide he's worth it, here's what you must do: Back away slowly.

This is not for sissies, but trust me, it's the only way you're ever going to get him back. It takes discipline. It takes self-love. And you must do it.

This means you do not, under any circumstances, email the dude. You don't call him to see how he's doing. You don't come up with a scheme to score tickets to opening day of his favorite baseball team and casually invite him to go with you (I've tried this scheme; the tickets were for The Stones. The guy in question took me up on the offer all right, but that was pretty much the last time I saw him).

The key is to keep busy (no waiting for the phone to ring, please). Let him come after you. Yes, I know you've heard this before. Hey, I'd heard it before, but it didn't work until I actually gave it a try. If the guy likes you, he'll miss you. If he doesn't, nothing you say or do or wear is going to change that.

Mimi Tanner wrote two excellent books that give you the nuts and bolts on dealing with men. Check them out: Secrets of Flirting and Calling Men.

Love and the Power of Positive Thinking

Old Dr. Peale was a proponent of The Law of Attraction. In this excerpt from his book, The Power of Positive Thinking, he shows how one woman used it after her husband asked for a divorce:

"She had conquered herself to the extent of being able to receive this request with calmness. She simply replied that she was willing if he wanted it, but suggested a deferral of the decision for ninety days on the ground that divorce is so final. 'If at the end of ninety days you still feel that you want a divorce, I will co-operate with you.' She said this calmly. He gave her a quizzical look, for he had expected an outburst.

Night after night he went out, and night after night she sat at home, but she pictured him as seated in his old chair. He was not in the chair, but she painted an image of him there comfortably reading as in the old days. She visualized him puttering around the house, painting and fixing things as he had formerly done. She even pictured him drying the dishes as he did when they were first married. She visualized the two of them playing golf together and taking hikes as they once did.

She maintained this picture with steady faith, and one night there he actually sat in his old chair. She looked twice to be sure that it was the reality rather than the picturization, but perhaps a picturization is a reality, for at any rate the actual man was there. Occasionally, he would be gone but more and more nights he sat in his chair. Then he began to read to her as in the old days. Then one sunny Saturday afternoon he asked, 'What do you say to a game of golf?'

The days went by pleasantly until she realized that the ninetieth day had arrived, so that evening she said quietly, 'Bill, this is the ninetieth day.'

'What do you mean,' he asked, puzzled, 'the ninetieth day?'

'Why, don't you remember? We agreed to wait ninety days to settle that divorce matter and this is the day.'

He looked at her for a moment, then hidden behind his paper turned a page, saying, 'Don't be silly. I couldn't possibly get along without you. Where did you get the idea I was going to leave you?'"

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