She Knows What She Wants in a Man

In my post of January 2, Meet Better Men in 2008, I recommended that women write and keep a list of the qualities they want in a guy. One reader took me up on it and sent me what she came up with:

"Great sense of humor…Kind…Loves his job… he is his own boss…didn’t sell his soul to the man…Honest… Into Wellness…Fit…Athletic but not a jock…Hike bike tennis all around athletic but not obsessed…Easy going…Intelligent but not a brainiac…Never stuffy…Treats everyone with respect and compassion. Never snubs people…Doesn’t want any new offspring…Soft hearted…Big into relaxing and taking a hiatus from phone, TV, cell, laptop etc...Not a big political guy but knowledgeable…not a perfectionist…Handy, do it yourselfer…Fetish free…Eyes like Jim F…Wrinkly eye smiley face…Affectionate…Good Hugger…5 o’clock shadow…physique like Barry, Robbie, Drew…good dresser…appreciates the arts, music, musician…guitar, piano, sings, reads music…good cook…into food but not snobby…more like mark BITTMAN and naked chef…not at all effeminate by any stretch of the imagination…likes to go out to restaurants…knows wine but not in a snobby way…not a momma’s boy…not a washerwoman…helpful…energetic…laid back…not hyper…makes me laugh…makes me blush….makes me feel safe…makes me feel attractive….loves God…knows scripture…Christ-like lifestyle and approach…not an annoying pompous type church dude…good host, entertainer…nice home…unfettered by past relationships…likes dogs…not a cat guy…not status conscious…well read and nice handwriting…good with words…into green living…loves NYC…Knows NYC…GETS NYC…geographically available…neat and clean but not OCD about it…lots of good friendships…loving family…exceptionally kind to wait staff etc…thinks my kids rock…can handle being friends first…but when I am ready won’t budge from this point in his life until I agree to come along for the ride…gets me…multi-faceted…confident..empowered…empowering…a big motivator…encourager…great friend to get clarity from…lives a balanced, harmonious existence…never tries to give me something I don’t want…never tries to tell me what I want after I just expressed what I wanted…joyful...optimistic...peacemaker...likes the beach all year round...no agenda...not meticulous or fussy in any way...."

Will she get everything on her list? Probably not; maybe she'll have to accept less than good handwriting. None of us is perfect. But the fact that she's determined what she wants means she'll recognize the right guy when he comes along. It also dramatically increases the likelihood that he will indeed come around.

Rock of Love, Part Deux

The last season of Rock of Love starring sad boy Poison frontman, Bret Michaels, struck me as sickly hilarious, the collision of a woefully insecure man and a passel of woefully insecure young women. I tuned in for every episode.

But now Bret is back, professing to be on the hunt for true love (or for a decent pole dancer, anyway) once again. I felt sorry for the poor women who felt low enough to dupe themselves into this humiliating mess last time around, but this time I feel even sorrier for Bret. He opened last night's Rock of Love II by claiming to be 40 years old, which he isn't.

He's really 44.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. But it's pathetic when a man runs from his age, when he wear layers of pancake makeup and eyeliner, and a bandana that probably conceals baldness (note to Bret: Baldness is a sign of masculinity, Pal. Don't hide it). It's tragic when a man who should know better throws himself into another pool of Kristy Joes, Ambres, and Destineys to prove he's still a hot commodity.

Most of the women he discarded last season have landed on their feet, I imagine. But I have to wonder what's going to become of Bret Michaels

I sure hope he's saving his money.