Monday, March 31, 2008

My Boyfriend, Bret Michaels

All right, you're not going to believe this (and I'm ashamed to admit it), but last night after watching Rock of Love 2 With Bret Michaels and then Law and Order SVU, I went to bed and had a dream about Bret Michaels.

Yes, it was that kind of dream!

I mean, it's 11:15 the next day, and I still haven't gotten over it.

I wonder what misfired in my subconscious to bring on such an event. It really was something, I must say, although Bret managed to keep his bandana on the whole time.

Which brings me to last night's show.

What is it with this man and headgear? He's increasingly dissatisfied to hide what we imagine is a bald spot with a mere bandana. Twice in last night's episode, he appeared wearing a brimmed hat on top of a bandana. Although he's done it before, I believe he used to limit this fashion statement to just once per episode.

Anyway, last night Bret revealed that he's falling in love with Daisy, who's in deep debt due to a boob job, according to Heather, an LSE from last season who's now "good friends" with Bret and was brought along to uncover the truth in "this house of lies."

Heather did her very best to get Daisy eliminated. It's clear that ol' Heather has a conflict of interest; she's still hot for Bret herself, but I do think that she'd be a great match for him. Their table manners are equally appalling.

As usual, with about 10 minutes or so left in the show, Bret threw up his hands. He announced that he was "done" for the evening with the fighting LSEs (at one point, the always-volatile Destiney threw a drink at Daisy) and left his whipping boy, the fawning and also bandana-ed John, to clean up the mess.

I thought Destiney would get the heave-ho after Bret voiced his fears that if she became his girlfriend, she might smack around some girl with a backstage pass after one of his shows. Heaven forbid Bret ever jeopardize his relationship with a girl with a backstage pass!

You'd think, though, that a 45-year-old guy who claims he wants to fall in love (instead of lust) would limit time with groupies, or maybe that's just crazy me.

After all, I'm the one who finds Bret repulsive, and then allowed him to visit me in my dreams.