Friday, April 27, 2007

More About the Imus Flap

Yeah, by now it is old news, but this is the most intelligent piece on the subject I've read so far.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Why I Won't Introduce Him to My Single Friends

I know a guy who most women would find desirable if they saw him listed on a dating website. He's not bad looking, is educated, has a well-paying job, and owns primo real estate.

He's always asking me, "Don't you know any nice single women?" Of course I do. They're everywhere. But I'm reluctant to introduce him to any of them.

He's stuck in a groove of work, eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep, complain about being single, work, eat, sleep, quick vacation, work, eat, sleep, buy a new car, work, eat, sleep, complain...

The dude needs to climb out of it. Take more than one vacation a year, for instance, and stop taking it with the same lame-o friend who hates women. Put yourself in a place where you'll make some new friends who'll introduce you to other new friends and new experiences.

The guy always drives a beautiful car, but he never goes anywhere. He lives in an incredible house, but he rarely invites anyone over. He did have an excellent party (he's a great cook and a good host) several years ago, but everybody on the guest list was married. Surely some of those married people had a single friend or two they could have brought along.

He should take a little more initiative. It would make him more attractive, for one thing. What woman wants to date a guy she has to drag around like a sack of bricks?

The other thing that holds me back from introducing him around: He's moody as hell. If his basketball team loses, he goes into a funk. He's just ridiculous to be around. Other things, little things, set him off as well.

I'm just not willing to take responsibility for hooking a friend up with a landmine. Maybe if he ever decides to stop being so willing to be bummed out, I'll reconsider.

A friend of mine did introduce him to a lovely woman, but he rejected her for not being "good-looking enough." This set the friend who'd made the connection on fire. The lovely woman, while not a great beauty, hardly qualified as repellent. She fit safely into the average category, as does this guy. My friend vowed never to set him up again.

Today Is My Birthday...

...and I am younger than springtime.

Someone said to me a couple of years ago, "Oh, you mustn't like having birthdays, anymore," as if I were some sort of fossil. I'm not, by the way, anything close to a fossil. But I've had friends who started complaining about feeling old at the age of 25.

One such friend is B, who is two months and two weeks older than me. He is forever saying, "Well, I'm old now." His wife, who is even younger than me, says things like, "It's over for me, so I'm living through the kids now."

This is just not my attitude.

Anybody who has ever met my father knows that he is not the most positive human in the universe ("Why must you always be so negative?" my mother used to ask him), but one good thing he taught me was to not talk yourself, or let yourself be talked into, old age. This man, who scoffed at positive thinking and described himself as not a pessimist but a realist, went around the house telling us, "I'm younger than springtime."

"Getting a little gray there, Dad," we'd say.

"My hair isn't gray," he'd answer. "It's sandy."

Today, this guy is 75 and swims every morning. He lives in Manhattan so he can walk everywhere, and he does. He does not take cabs under any circumstances. He walks down and across town to visit my brother. He will take the subway to visit one of my sisters in Queens, or to visit some old priest at Fordham University in the Bronx.

Age really doesn't mean much. Peter's brother, an athlete, died of an aneurysm at the age of 20. His great aunt still lives on her own, shops, cooks, and throws dinner parties at the age of 102.

For many years, we didn't know what her age was because she kept it a secret. She wasn't ashamed of it, but she knew that if it were common knowledge, people would treat her differently. They would limit her.

I choose not to be limited. Every day is a gift, whether you're 20 or a 102. Today is my birthday, and I am younger than springtime.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

EFT Can Help Clear the Beliefs That Blow Your Chances At Love

To attract a love that truly makes you happy, it helps to give up limiting beliefs about men and relationships. I've written extensively about the seemingly intractable ideas that once hampered my own efforts. I eventually succeeded at "overwriting" them through affirmation and visualization.

But I've had beliefs about other areas of my life that subsided after using a method called the Emotional Freedom Technique. I experienced big changes in my confidence, for one thing.

Also, while my mother was dying of a brain tumor (and for a year afterwards), I functioned well during the day, but I suffered from insomnia and panic attacks at night. Amazingly, after one session with Alison Held, an EFT practitioner and founder of Healthful Direction, I slept peacefully. I can't say enough about her.

If you're interested in working with Alison, and you don't live in Connecticut, she can help you achieve results over the phone.

I'm very excited to be meeting her next Wednesday, May 2 (my wedding anniversary) to clear yet another pesky limiting belief.

For a free ebook about EFT and how to use it, check out Gary Craig's very excellent website.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

I'm Not Slow, Really I'm Not

But I finally have a Technorati Profile.

Russell Simmons Discusses the Law of Attraction With Stephen Colbert

The entrepreneur promotes his new book, Do You!: 12 Laws to Access the Power in You to Achieve Happiness and Success, on The Colbert Report. If you listen carefully, you'll hear him mention the Law of Attraction.

Great Law of Attraction Resources

On Saturday, I had the good fortune to find a package from Viveca Stone-Berry in my mailbox. It contained a copy of Catherine Ponder's Dynamic Laws of Prayer.

Catherine Ponder is a favorite author of mine, but I'd never read this one of her many books. Her Dynamic Laws of Prosperity helped me out of a couple of jams, and Viveca enjoyed much improved health after reading Dynamic Laws of Healing.

Here's a list of some other books I've found extremely helpful in achieving success in love and other matters:

Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life (Gawain, Shakti) (I've given this wonderful, so easy-to-follow book as a gift to friends and strangers.)

Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting: The Astonishing Power of Feelings

Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don't

The Magic of Believing

The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, Revised Edition

The Attractor Factor: 5 Easy Steps for Creating Wealth (or Anything Else) from the Inside Out ( Jessica Biel says she used this book in attracting her role in The Illusionist).

I definitely recommend Summer McStravick's wonderful CDs, which guide you through the attraction process. Very convenient. Try Flowdreaming for Happy Relationships.

Another Plug For Irish Penpals

I received an email today from a German friend I made through Irish Penpals about seven years ago. She and I started writing when her daughter was nine; the girl is now 16.

I made another friend in England, and we've been writing since her son was 16. He's now in his early 20s. This friend and I exchange Christmas and birthday presents every year. We've also exchanged books, and she made a tape of a Steve Coogan show for me that somehow got destroyed by the postal service.

One of the perks of Irish Penpals is that you can indicate the sex and approximate age of a friend you'd like to make.

A guy from Florida wrote to the site's founder, Michael Green, to say that he'd met his wife, a German woman, through the program.

It's fun, it's free, and you have nothing to lose. Take a look.

Monday, April 23, 2007

More About the Man Surge in New York City

From yesterday's New York Times article by Sam Roberts:

"Since 2000, men, mostly between the ages of 25 and 44, have accounted for more than three-fourths of the population increase in Lower Manhattan. As a result, according to a special census calculation, the sex ratio there increased to 126 men per 100 women in 2005, from 101 men per 100 women in 2000."

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Where the Boys Are Now

"Men now outnumber women in Lower Manhattan by a ratio of 126 to 100, a disparity usually seen only in towns with prisons or military bases."

--The New York Times, Sunday, April 22, 2007

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Cruise For Singles

We're no longer accepting reservations for the cruise in August. Please check this space for news of the next one!

A River Still Runs Through It

Last Sunday's storm hit us hard.

We still have a river running through our basement and garage; it'll remain there until the water table drops. The Amazing V was housesitting for L, who's in England visiting in-laws, and stayed up until 3 AM shop vacuuming L's giganto basement.

Then she went home and cleaned up her own.

I'm not getting too worked up about our water situation. I have to look at it positively. Now that we know where the house is vulnerable, we can fix it.

On Thursday, I took Child One into Manhattan to visit my brother and to see Blades of Glory. The kid is a Will Ferrell addict. For Easter, I bought her SNL: The Best of Will Ferrell, and I've seen the cow bell skit at least 46 times now. I know Will Ferrell's body better than my own husband's.

Peter says Will must have a clause in his contract that allows him to strip down to his BVDs at least once in every movie (athough I think he remained clothed in Stranger Than Fiction). During Blades of Glory, it occured to me that the man must stay up nights thinking up ways to make himself repulsive.

The most hilarious part of that movie was, for me, when Will gave Jon Heder a tour of his tattoos.

The weather has finally broken here in New England. I am absolutely thrilled.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

About Love and Relationships

This morning Ronnie Ann Ryan will interview me for a podcast she'll make available to her audience.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Saving Graces

My friend, H, recommended Elizabeth Edwards' Saving Graces: Finding Solace and Strength from Friends and Strangers.

I admire Elizabeth Edwards.

I saw her speak at a town hall meeting on C-SPAN during the 2004 election, and she blew me away with the depth of her understanding on every single issue that affects average Americans. She has a particularly interesting perspective because she grew up in a military family and spent much of her childhood on bases.

She knows firsthand what it means to have a loved one (in her case, her father) out on some mission and wonder if he's ever coming back.

She also describes what set her husband apart from the other guys she dated. It's easy to see why she fell for him.

As for me, I'm falling more for the guy every day.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Kate Winslet's Great Relationship Advice

Rented The Holiday the other day with Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, and Jack Black. It's diverting, slow in parts, but ultimately worthwhile for the lesson about unrequited love Kate Winslet's character learns, and then teaches Jack Black's.

Have you signed up for the cruise yet?

It's for fun, achievement-oriented single people with souls.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Relationships Start With You

"I recall a woman who was sixty-five when her husband died. After his death, she was lonely, missed male companionship, and wanted to remarry. The first thing she told me was: 'There aren't any good men.' Her very words sentenced her to a life without a new mate. The words you speak become your personal laws because of the creative power of the subconscious. Start listening to what you say, and you will become conscious of what you are affirming and the cause behind the results in your life."

-Terry Cole-Whittaker, from her book, What You Think of Me is None of My Business

Friday, April 13, 2007

Out With the Girls

Last night I met the girls for drinks at The Metro. Peter and I eat there quite a bit, but I'd never set foot in the bar before.

I was pleasantly surprised to find a cozy atmosphere, a fairly attractive crowd, and decent music. I was seated with my back to a table of five cutish guys who smiled nicely at us on their way out.

Our waitress, however, was a bit chilly (although she served us well), no doubt anticipating a lousy gratuity from a group of women. We tipped her lavishly.

That put a smile on her face. I hope we made progress in killing the stereotype that women are cheap and deserve bad service.

I got to talking to one of the newer women in our group, and like me, she met her husband in a bar (he's extremely successful, by the way; you could slip three houses like mine into hers).

Our friend, L, who couldn't join us because she's in England visiting her in-laws, met her handsome, successful husband in a bar, as well.

Nice Girls Shouldn't Finish Last In Love

People pleasers tend to get hurt. Fortunately, you can cure yourself of the disease to please.

Here's help.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Where I've Been

The last week has been a whirlwind, but mostly in a good way. I've been out and about promoting the cruise for single people, and then Peter and I had the whole family up for Easter.

One relative stayed for a few days (which is what I most definitely wanted). Unfortunately, she's forgetful and increasingly confused, which concerns me because she lives alone and insists on driving. (She told me point-blank that I have no right to tell her to do otherwise.)

I said goodbye to her yesterday with my fingernails in my palms, and then headed off to an appointment in Manhattan with my cardiologist/internist (part of my commitment to Fatique Be Gone).

Today I went to a couple of meetings and came home to a ringing phone. A teacher called to say that my daughter's progress at school "concerns" her. (The kid is perceptive, creative, and smarter than most people I know, but she does suffer from some undiagnosed learning problem; I've scheduled yet another appointment--this time with an ophthalmologist who specializes in Vision Therapy--to see if we can get to the root of it).

Tomorrow I plan to glue myself to my desk for most of the day. Fortunately, we're expecting bad weather, and I won't be tempted to be anywhere else.

What Don Imus Said

You can't defend Don Imus' stupid comment about the Rutgers Women's Basketball Team, but women are called 'ho' every day of the week on network television.

Last week (or the week before), Jay Leno made a joke about a poll revealing that women want more money and men want more sex. The punchline? If women would give men more sex, they'd get more money.

As far as I know, nobody called him out on it.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

India Arie - Ready for Love (and Using the Law of Attraction to Get It)

When using the Law of Attraction, you gotta set an intention. Here's the song Viveca Stone-Berry used to set hers and attract her husband. Read the story here.

Abusive Relationships

They're more common that you might think. According to Safe Horizon, an organization devoted to "moving victims of violence from crisis to confidence," the signs of an abusive relationship can be difficult to recognize.

A partner who accuses you of cheating and being disloyal is just one. Take a look at this list for the rest.

Monday, April 02, 2007

More About the Singles' Cruise

Click here for Cruise Planners' website.

I'm excited!

Singles' Cruise This August!

I'm doing it!

For a couple of years now, I've been telling Peter I wanted to put a cruise for single people together. I didn't know how to go about it, though. Last June, I met Virginia DeDad, a longtime expert in cruise travel, who gave me the push I needed.

Here's the deal:

Escape the dog days of August! Join us for a 4-day cruise for singles, ages 30-50, to Canada’s breathtaking St. John, New Brunswick. We’ll leave New York on Thursday, August 16th and return Monday, August 20th.

This trip is a terrific value (rates are $489, $549, and $599). We’ll sail the Carnival Victory, one of the world’s largest and most popular cruise ships. A true floating resort, the Victory offers all this and much, much more:

 Singles Meet and Greet
 Live music (at least 3 bands and orchestras)
 Multiple whirlpools
 Volleyball on Sports Deck
 Dance classes
 Water slide
 Golf lessons
 Art auctions
 Fine dining, including late night buffets
 Casual dining
 Spa dining (healthful low-fat and low-cal cuisine)
 Sushi bar
 Swimming pools
 Full casino
 Internet CafĂ©
 Duty-free shopping
 Bars and lounges
 Comedy acts
 Spectacular stage shows
 Complete state-of-the art fitness center
 Yoga and Pilates classes
 Library
 Sumptuous beds with high-thread-count linens
 Nightly turndown service

Give Cruise Planners a call at 800-794-0741, and Virginia will get you on board. She's organized sea travel for more than 20 years, and cruises are her passion. Book before April 13 and save 5%.

Note: New regulations require travelers to Canada to have a passport, so make sure yours is current. We’ll see you on August 16th!