She's Dating the Prince From Podunk

Terry:

I have recently started dating a caring, creative and interesting man. While he's not my ideal (or usual) type, physically we connect in a lot of important ways and our sex is great.

The problem is that he has an extreme country accent complete with podunk phrases such as "country as a rutabaga," and "I'm so hungry I could eat the South end of a North bound mule." To top it all off his grammar is atrocious. Every sentence has a double negative ("I aint got no milk," "ain't hardly seen her"). I don't think I've ever heard him say the word 'have.'

We grew up in the same area, both small towns. We are in our mid-thirties, and for lack of a better description, he sounds like a country bumpkin. At first it was kind of charming, but it's getting to a point where it is irritating and distracting.

I have mentioned the grammar thing, and he said that's the way he is and he cain't change. He has it in his mind that it's charming because when he lived in the Northwest, and in another country, his accent was a novelty. Now he's back in a small Southern town and to me he sounds like he's visiting the city from the farm.

He has so much to offer. He's intelligent, kind-hearted, and talented. I don't understand why he wouldn't want to better himself and speak correctly. I don't know how much longer I can listen to him talk.

Am I being shallow?

-How Deep Is My Love?


Hello, Deep-

You are not shallow.

It's a shame that he's kind-hearted, intelligent, and talented but refuses to better himself. If you don't know how much longer you can listen to him talk now, how will you feel five years from now?

Only you can decide whether you want to to continue this relationship.

Right now, the sex is great. He's caring and creative. Can you imagine being married to him? Having children with him? Mingling with his family regularly and often? Introducing him to your coworkers?

It might help to write a list of pros and cons. Sometimes it's easier to see things clearly when they're in black and white.

Good luck.