Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Meet Better Men in 2008

Forgive me for repeating myself:

If you want to meet the right guy, you have to know what qualities the right guy should possess. It's up to you to decide what those qualities are.

Right now:

Determine which qualities the right guy for you should have by writing them down. Do you have a pen?

Now, list all the lovely qualities you want in a man: a good sense of humor, a great job, the ability to tell the truth, the willingness to support your dreams, the willingness to be faithful, and so on (it's your list, after all).

If you're having trouble, think back to the last few boyfriends you've endured. Did they have the right qualities? They probably had some of the right qualities, so write them down. But I'll bet they had plenty of the wrong qualities, too. Put those down in a second column. Then write the opposite of the bad quality in the column of good qualities (for example, "keeps me waiting" becomes "respects my time.")

Before long, you will have your list. It will serve you well, so keep it handy.

Big deal, you may be saying to yourself. This is hocus pocus. Wishful thinking. You can't invent a man on paper, you know.

Well, maybe you can and maybe you can't. I'll tell you, this, though: If you go to the supermarket without a list, you come home with a lot of stuff you don't want, don't you? It's the same thing with men.

It helps to have that list around when you're unsure whether some guy you're dating will make you happy in the long run. Consult your list. See if he's worth worth keeping around.

Your list can also help keep you on track if you've been attracted to guys with all the wrong qualities in the past. It'll alert you before you get burned again. It may encourage you to keep a possible winner around long enough to develop an attraction for him. Sometimes we throw kick excellent men to the curb before giving them a chance because we're not used to dating excellent men. They're way out of our comfort zone.

Know what you want, and you're more likely to get it. It sounds good in theory, but if you don't ever pick up that pen, you'll never know how well it works.


Sassy said...

Thanks for a great post. I had made what I call "my affirmation" a while ago after reading your blog and I keep it very handy. It helps me in a number of ways....reminding me of what I really want in a partner and what I don't want. It's helped me heal over a bruised heart (he didn't have a lot of the qualities) and has reminded me to be patient.

Terry said...

Thanks for letting me know about your list, Sassy.

Mine kept me focused when I was ready to meet the right one, that's for sure.

I agree with Somerset Maugham when he said, "It is a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it."