Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Dating a Villain Most Foul

Here's an update on 'The Man Calls Constantly But Won't Commit' from December 20th:

Dear Terry:

You're right. I had a hard time not answering his phone calls. He was calling me every waking moment. He was caring and supportive. Because of him, I got new inspiration and lost weight. I practiced singing and am focusing on a better career.

He had told me that his brother who lives in Pakistan would be visiting him on Dec 23, with his wife and 2 kids, so he would not be able to see me for New Years. I told him I undersood, but I also told him that it would hurt me if he is seeing other people, or there is no commitment in our relationship. But he said he does not want to be in a committed relationship. It seemed like a committed relationship to me!

Now that his brother or whoever is visiting him, he is not calling me that often. I got a sinking feeling in my stomach! Oh no ! Is he married? Maybe he has a family in Pakistan!

He called me twice yesterday. I did not pick up the phone; I was upset and felt betrayed. I have not told him about my suspicions! Should I?

-Worried



Hi, Worried-

Please stop worrying.

I don't know if the guy is married. If he is, he's dishonest and pathetic. You didn't know, either, so why torture yourself about it?

The bottom line is: He says he's not willing to commit to you. I don't know or care what his reasons are. They don't matter.

Sure, it's hard not to pick up the phone when he calls. You obviously like the guy. But don't pick up. It'll get easier after a while. Ask yourself, "What's really in this relationship for me?"

You lost weight and charted a new course for a career. That's fantastic, but it's probably time to move on. You obviously have a lot going for you.

There are other fish in the sea. Wouldn't you feel better waiting for a better fish to come in than wondering and fretting and racking yourself over a guy who has indicated he's not willing to commit to you?

He's just not worth it.

Terry

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