Monday, August 10, 2009

When He Says He Needs Space

I apologize again for not posting as frequently as usual lately. I also apologized two months ago, and I'm still having trouble getting my act together. In addition to some other writing projects, I'm dealing with eye strain from sitting too much in front of a computer.

If anybody can give me some advice on how to deal with it, I'd really appreciate it. It's not good for productivity.

Somebody left the following comment on a previous post, How to Win Him Back:

This article is helpful, but I don't know how to be strong...

My boyfriend of 4 1/2 years, my first and ONLY anything, just broke up with me yesterday and I don't know how to deal. He said he needed "space" to find himself, which I know is true... but I can't seem to understand why he needs me to be out of the picture... this is so tragic...


And I say, yeah, it's definitely tragic when someone we love turns around after a number of happy dates, weeks, months, or years, and says, "I need space," but let me tell you: The best thing you can do is give him space.

(Just so you know, I've been there, and I really, really feel for you right now.)

If you call him, text him, IM him to implore him to remember the good times and plead with him to tell you exactly when things turn a wrong turn, it will only drive him further away.

(Once again, I've been there.)

Think about it. If you've ever been in the position where you're being pursued by someone you're not sure of at the moment, does it make him more or less attractive if he keeps pursuing you after you've politely asked him to back off?

It's entirely possible that the man in this scenario just needs time to figure out what he wants. It's possible he'll decide he wants this relationship to continue. It's possible that he'll decide he doesn't.

But the only way to know for sure is to give him what he's asked for: Space. In the meantime, ask yourself what's the worst thing that could happen here (he won't come back?). If he chooses not to come back, please be open to the possibility that better things lie ahead for you.

While you let him enjoy his space, make a point of enjoying yours. This means reaquainting yourself with the people, places, and things that made you happy that may have fallen by the wayside over the past four years. It means discovering new interests and making new friends. Most of all, it means taking excellent care of yourself.

I wish you every happiness.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Terry,
Sorry not to know about your eye strain.Few months back, I had severe eye strain for months.

Here's how I got rid of it, by going to a naturopathy doctor.

When you sit before computer,buy an anti-glare screen for the laptop/desktop you use.

For your eyes, eat atleast 2 raw carrots daily.Eat raw nuts soaked in water previous night ( soaking enhances the nutritional values)(eg: peanuts,almonds,cashews,pistachios and the likes) for protein early morning, followed by carrots.

Breakfast nutrients absorb better into your body.

I was also asked to make sure I had a bowel movement every day.The liver would have lot of stress by not having regular bowel movements.And most of the times, liver problems are not discovered easily, unless situations worsen.For this, I was asked to take lots of water, atleast a gallon of water every day, and also got some aerobic exercise !

Hope this helps you, and brings you back to total health !

Wish you health and happiness always !

Caribbean girls said...

Great article you have in here..

Terry said...

Thank you so much for the advice, Anonymous. It makes sense, and I will definitely take it!