Monday, March 24, 2008

Rolling that Rock of Love Off a Cliff

There's nothing like celebrating Easter with a little Rock of Love 2, starring hair band frontman Bret Michaels and an assortment of bandanas that I truly hope are American-made.

I spent much of the episode wondering if Bret has a soul. After watching him plead for donations to aid the victims of the 2003 Station nightclub fire in Rhode Island, I am beginning to think he might. However, it doesn't explain why he insists that the winner of the cheesy competition for his so-called love must not have any emotional or physical attachments to other men, while he remains free to spread his bodily fluids around with whomever will accept them.

To find out the truth about the contestants in the "house of lies," Bret summoned the former lovers of Ladies of Low Self-Esteem. In the hopes of getting the boys to rat out their exes, he tried to get them loaded at a bar in a mall. Judging by the expressions on some of their faces (particularly Ambre's friend, who seemed like a geniunely decent guy), they saw Bret for the poseur he truly is. I don't think hanging out in a mall bar jibed with their idea of the life of a rock star. Or even the life of a guy who pretends to be a rock star, like Bret.

At the end of the show, Bret eliminated Megan, the 22-year-old who calls everybody over the age of 30 -- except Bret -- "old." Last week, she sniped that 32-year-old Ambre couldn't keep up because, "What do you expect? She's an old lady."

Yeah, well, the old lady is still 13 years younger than Bret Michaels. Heck, she's probably younger than some of his bandanas.


Anonymous said...

I think we all know the reasons why:

1)He is insecure. That's very obvious.

2)That bandana is too tight on his head causing him to think stupid thoughts and say stupid things, then getting producers to air it on his hour long ego trip. Which gives him only a false sense of security.

3)Insurence Money is the reason why the night club victums need to collect.They shoudl go to court. Not to Brett Micheals. I hate to sound like a total heartless b*tch but really, with his pull can he think of something that doesn't refelct his lifestyle from the mid 80's?

oh wait.... nope. I stand corrected.


Susan at One-Woman Show said...

Well, I will say that I thoroughly enjoyed Bret's reaction when little miss Megan wouldn't leave the room after he kindly said that her tour ended there. (How sad I know the phrases!) Even he was like, "honey, get outta here, please...this is embarrassing!"

I have to admit, that kind of made me like Bret a teeny tiny bit.

Of course he was the one swapping spit with Megan only a few scenes earlier. Sigh. Maybe his maturity level changes depending on which bandana he wears.

Terry said...

Michelle- "That bandana is too tight on his head causing him to think stupid thoughts and say stupid things...." That's hilarious! Wish I'd thought of that one myself.

Susan- I know! It is sad that I know the phrases, too: "Will you continue to rock my world by (wearing that dress, looking so sexy, chugging a case of 'Bret Beer' with me) and staying in this house?"

I'm glad smarmy Megan is gone, too. Heather is back, though, scary as ever.

Susan at One-Woman Show said...

And to think Heather is helping him get to know the girls better?! Ay caramba!

I want to slip Amber a note and tell her to leave before it's too late. She seems more, um, normal than the other two or three left. Why, Amber, oh, why?!

Jane said...

And further....

1. Jessica "proved" her ability to handle the rock star lifestyle by falling down, dead drunk after 1and 1/2 drinks and puking all-over said-idol. Holding someone's head over a trash bin, man -- Now, that's Rock Star!

2. The group therapy session between Bret, The "Top-Hatted-Must-Be-Glued-To-His-Head-Much-Like-Said Idol's-Bandana" live-in loverboy of Daisy, and Vanessa -- oops I mean Daisy -- was priceless. I wonder if Daisy is now considered a threat to Homeland Security because of the discrepancy between the name on her luggage tag and whatever she calls herself?

3. Hey-Ho! Drinkin' in a mall! Whatever happened to flying in a private Lear to Vegas or going to a strip club?? Now, THAT's Rock Star!

4. Oooh, Bret, please, honey! Consider all of the sugar in that alcohol. The alcohol you don't imbibe today is the a$$ someone doesn't have to jam a diabetic coma-stopping needle into tommorrow! Now, that's Rock Star!

5. You need to check out the outakes from VH1. The last one shows our beloved Miss (or should that be Mr.??) Daisy falling down the steps while running to Bret. That was quickly followed up with the statement "Oh, no, I'm not drunk!" How could you be on a show like this and not be totally and absolutely blitzed, tight, and trashed 24/7?? Careful, we're all going to be 12-stepping it here shortly. Did you bring your extra liver?

Jane, who can hardly wait for next week's ep......

Terry said...

Yeah, Bret was a little too proud of Jessica for throwing up in a trash can for my taste.

And it's just bizarre watching a 4-shot-a-day diabetic (or so he claimed last season) drink to be cool.

I knew guys like Bret in 8th Grade, except they weren't diabetics. I wonder if Bret was ever beaten up by a nun.

Jane said...

Oh, and that place in the mall.... wasn't that a bit like "Chuck E. Cheese's" or whatever it's called for adults... complete with Wack-A-Mole and Bowling??