Wednesday, October 21, 2009

He's Perfect (On Paper)

Question:

Been seeing Mr. Perfect On Paper: shared interests, activities, achievements, values.

But neither of us seems passionate about getting physically involved, and I don't feel -- and I guess he doesn't either -- that it's just awful to part at the end of an evening or a day together. We're both 60ish, were in 25-year marriages that ended (obviously): are we just gun-shy and holding back, or is this just not the relationship we need?

-Anonymous, please


-Dear Anonymous-

It sounds to me like you've met the perfect man to be your friend.

You seem to have a lot in common, so I don't see the harm of spending time together, but it seems that you're just not attracted to each other. Attraction is vital to a romantic relationship.

Is it possible attraction will develop?

Sure. Definitely. But it's also possible it won't. As long as you and your friend are having fun together, why not hang around with each other long enough to find out?

2 comments:

Kaye said...

Why not talk about it with him? He may be holding back because he senses that you aren't feeling that "click" with him. In my experience guys don't tend to "date" women they don't find physically attractive. (Is he paying for outings, or do you always go dutch?) He may see you as a friend, and if so, having that out in the open might make it easier for both of you to enjoy your time together. I agree that chemistry can grow over time, so be open to that if that is what you want. Also, what do you want right now? An activity partner (which it sounds like you have) or a romantic relationship? It's ok to not want romance right now.

plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Do attractions really ever 'develop'? Never happens to me...:-)
plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/