Monday, November 17, 2008

Should She Remain Friendly With an Ex?


I have a quick question, Terry....

Do you think women should stay friends with an ex..whether that be a guy they've only dated a few times or for a longer period? I mean when the guy has been the one to either not initiate a romance, or he's just moved on?

-Sian


Hi, Sian-

It all depends on how the woman feels about him.

If she's harboring feelings for the guy, it makes it really hard to stay friends. It might be best for her to merely smile and wave when she runs into him--and then keep moving. She shouldn't be unfriendly to the guy (unless he's been a real jerk), but if being around him makes her feel uncomfortable, sad, or woefully unattractive, there's no point in trying to be his buddy (especially if it distracts her from meeting someone else who would make her happy).

But if it doesn't bother her that the guy moved on after a couple of dates, or that she doesn't light him up, why shouldn't she befriend him? They could have great times together. He just might introduce her to other interesting people and invite her to excellent parties, as well.

-Terry

2 comments:

Sassy said...

Hi Terri--

My Boyfriend and I are both friends with some of our exes. Not the ones that were jerks, but the ones that we liked, but who were not just The One. I actually found it telling that The Boyfriend was friends with some exes because it showed that he wasn't a jerk when he broke up with some old loves. I've met several and they're nice girls!

Take care,
S

Terry said...

Hi, Sassy-

You make such a good point. Getting to know a guy's exes (who weren't jerks) can provide excellent insights into his character.

I've been friendly with two of my husband's exes (one's still a good friend, another moved away). It worked out very well!