Monday, April 13, 2009

Sex and the Fledgling Relationship

Hi Terry!

I subscribe to your mails and was wondering what you thought of this blog post by a girl whose sense of love, life and everything I love and follow. She is a very popular blogger based out of NYC and New Zealand, and one of her recent blog posts talks about sleeping with a guy on the first date.

Especially when it comes to things like the law of attraction and my belief in it and things like what conception do you have of yourself, I feel what she says makes a lot of sense too. What do you think? I'll be interested to know.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Take care,
Keep My Name Out of It


Dear Keep-

Thanks so much for letting me know about this blogger and her take on sleeping with a guy on the first date. She's very funny, and she brings up an excellent point (that I should also have made in my recent email and didn't):

It's sexist and misguided to hold off on sex purely so that some guy will love or 'respect' you for it.

My feeling is that a man who would sleep with you but disrespect you for sleeping with him is a hypocrite and should be discarded immediately.

The important thing is that a woman not sleep with a guy because a) he's pushing it, or b) she thinks he expects it, or c) she thinks it will keep his interest.

She must be true to herself.

Now, I'm a bit of a germophobe, so I would be reluctant to sleep with a guy on the first date because I haven't had enough time to assess how frequently he showers, whether or not he washes his hands after he goes to the bathroom, if his hard drive is cluttered with questionable porn, or if he has any diseases.

See, I was at the OB/GYN not too long ago, and a sales rep floated in with a wheelie cart filled to the tippy-top of an 'as-seen-on-TV' herpes medication. When I got in to see my doctor, I asked her, "Are there really so many people afflicted with herpes that sales reps are passing out that number of samples?"

Her response?

"One out of five people have active lesions. Another percentage carry the virus and don't know it."

From a Law of Attraction standpoint, visualize and 'feel' yourself in your perfect relationship. Don't worry about sex. When that perfect relationship shows up, my hunch is your subconscious (which you're programming to work in your best interests) will show you the way to go.

I hope this helps, and thank you for helping me to further clarify my feelings on this matter.

3 comments:

Jokah Macpherson said...

Only a modern woman could come to the ludicrous conclusion that making a conscious decision to not have sex on the first date is sexist and objectifying.

Sex on the first date is not sex on any "date", it's a one night stand. There is a word for women who practice this, too. They serve their purpose but if they think their magical personality is going to cement the relationship from there on out they're in for a rude awakening.

Readers who married the first guy they had sex with on the first date, I stand corrected. All others, you disrespect your current boyfriend/husband by being that kind of woman.

raquel said...

Hello,

We recently compiled a list of what we thought were the top 100 dating and relationship blogs and I'm glad to inform you that your blog made the list. You can see the list at http://www.onlinedating.org/blog/top-100-dating-blogs.html. Thanks for making such a great blog!

- Raquel

Terry said...

Thank you, Raquel!