I find your book and your emails very inspiring. I know my Mr. Right is just around a corner, and I will definitely let you know when I meet him.
The list of qualities I would like in my future partner is quite reasonable. When you met your husband, did he have all the qualities you wanted in your future partner?
I also wanted to ask you a question about children. If I still want children (a bit later in life), should I include that in my list, writing and visualisations? Do you have any children yourself?
Look forward to your reply!
Regards,
S.
Dear S.-
My husband has all the qualities I visualized (honest, loyal, loving, reliable, successful, and fun). He's a great guy.
I want to be careful here and tell you that he's not exactly perfect. He sometimes listens to country music (which I loathe) and, for someone who never watched much prime time TV, has suddenly and inexplicably become addicted to the series, NCIS, starring Mark Harmon.
So while he has the qualities I consider non-negotiable, he's imperfect like me and the rest of us.
AS FOR CHILDREN...
Before we got married, I never did visualize them, but that certainly does not mean you can't. Just be sure to put them in a scene where you and your husband are taking care of them as a couple, still devoted to one another (God forbid you should become one of those poor, overwhelmed women you see lining up for TV makeovers).
In my case, I visualized (and experienced internally) the relationship I wanted with a man first. About a year and a half after we married, we talked about having children. At that point, I started visualizing one child (another person might visualize a houseful of children, but I started with just one).
In addition to visualization, I prayed* that our child would be healthy and leave the world better than she found it (although I never specified a sex). She was born about 13 months later. Around the time she turned nine months, I visualized and prayed for another child. Ten months later, at the age of 19 months, she had a sister.
Now, to be fair, I've never been diagnosed with any kind of fertility issue. Certainly many other people are not so lucky. But I did attend a seminar in Manhattan in 2004 where a woman who once had fertility problems claimed she'd become pregnant and brought a healthy baby to term after visualizing and "feeling" a baby in her arms on a regular basis.
I hope this fully answers your question.
I look forward to hearing from you when you meet your Mr. Right, so please do keep me posted. Thanks for writing.
* Prayer backed by faith, rather than begging, pleading, bargaining prayer, which is counterproductive.
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2 comments:
Terry, I love your emails, by the way!!
For my 'board', I actually use a backdrop page from a magz that's strikingly artistic & has as few words as possible as the scene for the words, phrases, & pics that i place on it. I don't glue them down so that I can move it around during the month as I see fit. Then I look at it every day for at least 3 or 4 times, & intensely focus on each & every word or phrase, to let it sink in to my subconscious. IT WORKS LIKE PEOPLE WOULDN'T BELIEVE!
However, here's my 'brief' love story cautionary tale about how visionary boards can work their MAGIC: In the month of Feb of this year, I made a relationship board for my budding romance with the most wonderful man I have ever met, who was showing HUGE signs of attraction to me; dinner dates to expensive places, movies, lunch, dinner on fri nites, etc.
EVERYTHING on my vision board came true for that month! It was magical! So I made a board for March that focused on the two of us falling in love in March! One of the phrases I used was, "Party of Two, your city is waiting". Well, within the next couple of days he told me that he and his coworker's job might be relocated to a town that is 2 hours away. I was crushed, because that's not the 'party of two' I meant on MY board! So I changed the board to be more specific to the two of US falling in love and taking things to the next level and to begin actual physical intimacy.
I believe that the intensity of all the new things I added to my new March board must have cosmically reached him again, b/c he told me right off the bat within the first 4 days of March that he could 'sense' that I wanted something more serious than he was ready for emotionally, and that of a sudden he felt all of this 'pressure' to get serious, and it was overwhelming. (He went on to explain that he is still an emotional wreck from a previous relationship and that he wanted our "relationship to go at his pace.")
I was crushed because I have NEVER brought up our "relationship" or "where is this going", so the only way he could have sensed anything is either he's psychic or it was thru my intense visionary focus. HOW ELSE!! So, I threw away my March board altogether in tears and have been heartbroken ever since.
Here we are heading into the month of April. While he isn't as "into me" as he was during the entire month of Feb, he does still invite me over every week to watch his fave show, or he'll invite me to the occasional beer pub hangout or out to dinner. I can feel sexual chemistry from him, but he still hasn't made a move to kiss me, or to be intimate with me. It doesn't matter now, because unfortunately he just got offered a job to move overseas for nearly a year on a work assignment. He plans to take it. I don't plan to make a relationship board for April because now I don't see the point, plus I don't want him to feel any cosmic "pressure" to be with me if that's not what he wants.
I know, I know, my "love story" doesn't have a happy ending, but I just wanted to tell you that visualization boards REALLY DO WORK. Sometimes too well. So BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.
-MAC.
Hey, Mac, thanks for a really great comment and for sharing your very valuable experience.
Here's what I would have done differently: As soon as I heard the guy had a possibility of being transferred to another city, I would have opened myself to the possibility that HE WASN'T THE GUY.
When I started visualizing, I never pictured a certain man (an ex-boyfriend or a guy at the office, for instance). I started with qualities and went from there.
If a guy with those qualities presented himself, I'd have been thrilled, but as soon as the job transfer or an old girlfriend or some other obstacle popped up, I'd have kept affirming, but I'd have been open to the possibility that this guy might not be the right guy for me.
In other words, I'd be open to the possibility that an even more suitable relationship was in the offing for me. (It's a bit early on a Saturday morning, and I'm surrounded by family, so I do hope I'm being clear here.)
If the guy you describe is feeling pressure, is an emotional wreck, and wants your relationship to proceed at his pace, by all means, give him wide berth. Keep yourself busy having fun with friends, learning new things, knowing that the RIGHT relationship is on its way to you.
Maybe this guy will step up the pace a bit and prove himself to be THE GUY.
Or maybe he won't. You have a life to live, so go live it.
So, continue to be clear about the feelings you want to experience in a lasting relationship. Do not pin your hopes on any certain guy until he's proved (in actions and words) that he is the one for you.
Remember the phrase, "This or something BETTER now manifests itself for the highest good of all concerned."
I hope I've explained myself well, and I definitely hope this helps. Thank you again for sharing your experience!
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