Saturday, February 28, 2009

He Didn't Call. Now What?


He said he'd call.

He didn't, and right now you're upset. You don't know why he didn't. All you know is, you were looking forward to seeing him again. You liked him. He seemed to like you. Heck, you KNOW he liked you.

So, why didn't he call?

Well, it probably had nothing to do with something you did or said, so stop worrying. If he said he'd call, it was up to him to live up to his word and actually do it. The fact that he didn't says more about him than it does about you.

So what now?

Here's what YOU WON'T do:

-Call him

-Text him

-Email him

-Get a friend to call him

-"Accidentally" bump into him in a club or bar where
you know he's apt to hang out.

Here's what YOU WILL do:

-Tell yourself that a guy who doesn't keep promises might not be
too much of a loss

-Treat yourself really, really well; remind yourself you're a treasure
yet to be discovered.

Here's what YOU MIGHT do:

-Call a good friend and go out for dinner, a movie, coffee, a drink--
something fun. (No crying in your beer.)

-Rent a movie (Broken English is a good romantic drama, Forgetting
Sarah Marshall
is hilarious, and The Holiday is good fun, too). Curl up with a blanket and a bowl of popcorn

Tomorrow morning, congratulate yourself for NOT contacting the guy. You haven't appeared insecure, needy, or desperate. Hold your head up.

Now, it's possible (wouldn't be the first time), he'll come to his senses and call you during the week. When he asks you out again, tell him sorry, but you're busy (and just to keep things honest, go out and make yourself busy!).

The worst thing you can do is be easily available to a person who said he'd call and didn't (put yourself in his place: You tell a guy you'll call. You don't. You finally get around to calling, and he drops everything to be with you. Turn on or turn off? You tell me).

Make him work a bit to see you again. Give yourself a few days to decide whether he's even worth it.

Now, if the guy doesn't ever call, once again consider the very real possibility he's done you a very big favor. A guy who doesn't keep his word is probably very poor boyfriend material.

And you can do better. What's more, you deserve better.

3 comments:

Lily said...

I did end up renting Broken English after you wrote about it in another post. I think the most heart-breaking moment in the movie for me was when she is with her mom and you watch her fall apart as she says "I hate the desperation in me." I remember just feeling it in my gut. You can know your life is great and love being single and I know I personally still have that self-doubt and "desperation" creep up and it can be amazingly leveling.

I realize I am off a tangent. I did like the comment part about doing something for yourself if he didn't call. Sometimes the only one around to pick yourself back up is you. I think we get into a little bit of a downward spiral when we don't know how to pick ourselves back up.

Anonymous said...

Sonofagun. I just did this (contacted a guy who didn't call when he said he would . . . he had a good reason, but now it's been 2 days and still nothing). Thanks for spelling it out so clearly.

-R

ekrisdinger said...
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