Monday, April 28, 2008

When It Comes to Meeting Men, Your Best Bet Is a Woman

Has this ever happened to you?

You're minding your own business when some knucklehead tips you off that you're not quite as good-looking as your sister or friend.

This happened to me a few weeks ago. At a party for my daughter, a guest informed me that my youngest sister was better looking than me. This is nothing new; people used to stop my mother on the street when we were small and coo over my sister while I stood there like an organ grinder's monkey.

(What does this have to do with meeting a great guy? I'm getting to
it....)

I am the mother of two girls now, and it boggles my mind how people
judge little females by their looks, as if we're participating in a never-ending Miss America contest.

It's so old.

Still, it manages to divide women, to make us suspicious of each other, and to compete over nonsense (like jewelry, for instance). Ultimately, it isolates us.

A few weeks ago, I came across this gem in magazine for teenage girls:

"Subtly stand out in a sea of cousins--and send the message
that you're the cutest--with a swipe of a bright pink lipstick that's perfect for your skin tone."

So, a lot of us girls grow up disliking other girls. We view them as threats, or hang around with them only until a man appears on the horizon.

And it's a shame.

One of the very best ways to meet decent, fun, good men is through our friends, especially friends who happen to be girls. No, not 'girlfriends' we merely put up with until we snag some guy, but real friends who love us, support us, and want what's best for us.

Real friends come in handy when you're falling for a guy who may hurt
you. They'll wake you up.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you that a fool who says your sister is "hotter" than you isn't someone you should waste time with (although a friend's sister actually dated some loser who told her, "If I could put your sister's head on your body, you'd be perfect!").

I happened to be out with friends when I met my husband. Years later, these friends and still talk on the phone all the time.

Just yesterday, I took four trains (I hate driving) deep into a bordering state for one of those friend's twins' Communion party. (Where was Peter? He stayed home to wait for our older daughter to get home from a school trip -- and steam-cleaned the kitchen and bathroom floors while he waited. Now, that's my kind of man!)

One of the best pieces of advice about guys came from one my friends who happened to be a girl. She told me this when I was seriously kidding myself with a Mr. Not-Very-Likely:

"Terry, you have to picture yourself married to this guy 10 years from now. Ask yourself, is he really going to make you happy?"
The answer was no, and I broke up with him.

Thank God for friends who happen to be girls.

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