In last night's finale of Rock of Love 2, Bret Michaels, Self-Proclaimed Rock Star, chose between two finalists, a stripper named Daisy and a TV hostess (whatever that means) named Ambre to be the recipient of his "like, lust, and love."
A hopeless slut, Bret decided between the two remaining Ladies of Low Self-Esteem after going for a roll in the hay with each of them. In TV Land, viewers endured uncomfortably tight shots of his tongue swabbing their eager tonsils.
In the end, the TV hostess won Rock of Love 3, giving her the last laugh.
At 37 (eight years younger than Bret Michaels), Ambre had been maligned by her rival as being "80 years old" and "500 hundred years old." Another 22-year-old contestant Bret booted a couple of weeks ago dismissed Ambre as an "old lady."
Which really cracked me up. Obviously, these Mensa candidates didn't look long enough at Bret and his hair extensions (or whatever that phenomenon is dangling from his head) to realize that life in one's 20s is fleeting.
Now that Our Hero has at last chosen his Lady of Like, Lust, and Love, we wonder what's next for them. Are they still a couple, or has Bret already signed to do Rock of Love 3? Will we discover he's inked a deal to design a line of rockin' bandanas for Walmart? Will Ambre's star ascend? Will she go from being TV hostess to perhaps a guest corpse on Law and Order SVU?
Search engines may sieze trying to answer all our questions.