Monday, April 14, 2008

At last, Bret Michaels Chooses His 'Rock of Love'

In last night's finale of Rock of Love 2, Bret Michaels, Self-Proclaimed Rock Star, chose between two finalists, a stripper named Daisy and a TV hostess (whatever that means) named Ambre to be the recipient of his "like, lust, and love."

A hopeless slut, Bret decided between the two remaining Ladies of Low Self-Esteem after going for a roll in the hay with each of them. In TV Land, viewers endured uncomfortably tight shots of his tongue swabbing their eager tonsils.

In the end, the TV hostess won Rock of Love 3, giving her the last laugh.

At 37 (eight years younger than Bret Michaels), Ambre had been maligned by her rival as being "80 years old" and "500 hundred years old." Another 22-year-old contestant Bret booted a couple of weeks ago dismissed Ambre as an "old lady."

Which really cracked me up. Obviously, these Mensa candidates didn't look long enough at Bret and his hair extensions (or whatever that phenomenon is dangling from his head) to realize that life in one's 20s is fleeting.

Now that Our Hero has at last chosen his Lady of Like, Lust, and Love, we wonder what's next for them. Are they still a couple, or has Bret already signed to do Rock of Love 3? Will we discover he's inked a deal to design a line of rockin' bandanas for Walmart? Will Ambre's star ascend? Will she go from being TV hostess to perhaps a guest corpse on Law and Order SVU?

Search engines may sieze trying to answer all our questions.


Jane said...

That was about as exciting as a one-way ANOVA or multiple regression. At least my stats instructor is rather entertaining as I'm always moderately charged with espresso for that weekly 90 minute torture session.

Last night, neither a double espresso nor copious amounts of single malt would have helped. Bret looked bored. I was bored. And the final choice appeared to have Bret looking as if he was being forced to choose between falling into a diabetic coma or having a root canal performed on every single one of his teeth.


Anonymous said...

I actually watched this.
Ok I think that Ambre is better or him than Daisy. It is ironic that Daisy got what she deserved for being so nasty and catty in the first place. Karma is very amusing, when you are watching it happen to other people. But really I seriously question the mental age of Bret. He just doesn't strike me as a very bright individual. I think Jess figured that out after the facade was dropped after Rock of Love 1.But it still makes me wonder. If he didn't have VH1 to fall back on to help ole Bret find himself a girl. Then what would his life be reduced to? ~Michelle

Susan at One-Woman Show said...

Wow. I caught a few minutes of poor Daisy ready to get sick on the boat, and then a flash of her and Bret on his bed. I quickly turned the channel. I didn't know Ambre would be the chosen one! I hope I can sleep until they create a "where are they now" special :)

(Actually, I am kinda curious about whether they're still together.

But not that curious.)

Terry said...

I'm kinda curious, too, Susan. The dude is a booby prize if I ever saw one.

Terry said...

Jane, he did look bored, didn't he? I had to find out who won during when they repeated the episode at 11. I'd fallen asleep the first time.

Michelle, I seriously question Bret's mental age, too. Sometimes I find myself feeling sorry for the guy.

Jane said...

This show is definitely not to find a girlfriend. There's a reason why it's called a show. He can find plenty of "wannabes" in the back of his tour bus and in the strip clubs near the airport. He stated in a recent interview that he is well-aware of his actual age, the fact that he has two young daughters, and that he is a diabetic. Four to five insulin shots per day is not a joke. I don't know if that's clarity via age for you or not, but perhaps the choice of Ambre -- while I still think she is solely there for her own self-motivated reasons -- is a step in the right direction.

I personally think that Bret has a great voice and that his heart is likely in the right place. However, his success as a solo artist doesn't measure the success he had with Poison in 1986ish. Hence, you have smaller venues now (for his solo shows) versus Madison Square Garden for Poison. He's still a great performer, in my book. Of note, I'll deliver the "official" verdict on that one in a week after I see his show, on my blog page!

The show, such as it is, is to boost his own ratings and to get his image back in the public's working memory. It's not a bad idea.

I think he was truly tired of ROL2 and the girls that were cast. I doubt we'll see a ROL3.