Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Dazed and Confused

Dear Terry-

A certain guy I have been friends with for many years approached me and told me he is interested in me, and that he cares about me. He said with time, he surely hopes something will materialize. He said he is a serious guy and wants a serious relationship, but he indicated "soon."

Am a little confused as to what he is thinking.

He calls now and again, sends emails and texts and sometimes he goes quiet. When he sees me chatting with another guy he gets jealous.

What should I do? Please help.

-A Tenderheart in Need of Guidance

Dear Tenderheart-

Keep chatting with other guys, not to make this one jealous, but because you're not involved with him and have every right to enjoy the company of other men.

If he truly wants something to "materialize" between you, well, then shouldn't he see to it that it does? What is he waiting for?

You say you're confused as to what he's thinking. Guess what? It's not your job to figure out what he's thinking. It's his job to communicate it to you. Keep your responses to his texts and emails brief and to the point. If he "goes quiet," don't attempt to contact him.

He said cares about you and wants a relationship. Let him prove it. Until then, have fun and keep moving. If he ends up losing you, he'll have nobody to blame but himself.



Scott Palmer said...

I think Tenderheart's initial response to his announcement is important here. If it was lukewarm, he may be skittish now, and he might even feel embarrassed about saying anything. I agree that he needs to do something to back up what he said, but what's wrong with her saying, "Hey, you remember that conversation we had the other day? When were you going to get around to asking me out?"

If he's ready, he'll do that, if he's not then she'll know for sure, and your advice is spot on from that point.

Terry said...

Thanks very much for your input, Scott!

I appreciate it and will pass it on to the woman who wrote.