Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Short Men Are Sexy, Too

A few years ago, I knew a tall, dark-haired, blue-eyed woman who bore an uncanny resemblance to a young Mia Farrow. Yet she rarely had a date and was known to spend more than one New Year's Eve alone, crying herself to sleep.

She seemed like a pleasant enough person, though, and so I hoped to set her up with a well-employed, fun-oriented cousin of mine. I invited them both to a party and casually introduced them. Later, I asked her what she thought.

"I would never date that guy," she said. "He's too short."

It didn't matter that he was friendly enough, decent looking, shared her religion and her passion for sports, had a great job, and lived in a desirable neighborhood. He didn't meet her height requirement.

It didn't matter that he was my cousin, either (yeah, I took the rejection a bit personally).

So that was the first and last time I introduced her to any man anywhere. You just can't help a person like that.

Apparently, she is not alone in her disdain of shorter men. One columnist claims that most women will not date fellows they deem too short due to some holdover from evolution. As far as I'm concerned, that's a lot of crap.Women who don't date shorter men aren't biologically programmed that way; they just care too much about what other people think.

You know, my husband does happen to be taller than me, but I did date a couple of diminutive fellows before I met him. When I decided I wanted to get married, my requirements for a man were that he be:

Loving
Loyal
Reliable
Successful
Fun

I didn't really care how tall he was.

Women who avoid shorter men owe it to themselves to take another look. If short guys are really so undesirable, then somebody better tell Stephen Colbert (do a Google search; both women and men call him a sex symbol) and Jon Stewart (he once dated Tawny Kitaen, the model/Whitesnake-video-hood-ornament, before eventually marrying another attractive woman).

Dating Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan, another colleague, and I had a fine time smashing the short-guys-are-unattractive myth over coffee this morning. Skyscraper Gisele Bundchen never had a problem being seen with Leonardo DiCaprio, that's for sure.

Peter once knew two guys who didn't quite make the 5'7 mark. One of them believed in his soul that his small stature rendered him deformed and hideous, and guess what, he was right. The few women managed to attract capitalized on his insecurity and took him for cash and prizes.

The other guy, who was even shorter, wasn't nearly as intelligent as the first. He called in sick to work as often as possible and, at the age of 30, remained a major aficionado of Bugs Bunny and other prepubescent TV fare.

Yet he always had a date. Despite all evidence to the contrary, he believed he had something to offer. A lot of women picked up on it. He married a pretty blue-eyed blonde with five inches on him.

When you want to meet a decent guy, go for qualities that matter. Height doesn't.

And when you find a kind, fun, successful man who's shorter than you, keep your shoes on.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Leonardo DiCaprio short? He's at least 6 feet. Have you ever seen photos of Giselle and him together? He is taller than her by about an inch.

Terry said...

You're right. Leo is 6'1, and Gisele is 5'11.

Substitute Tom or Billy for Leo and Nicole or Christie for Gisele, then.

CatWoman said...

Love this blog. Love this post.
But it may seem shallow. But I think (not my opinion) that a person has a right to want who he or she is physically attracted to. Tall women may want a tall guy like their tall dad. My feeling is if it's tall you like then tall you shall have. I'll take either. I'll take a great personality any day.

Margaret said...

Your points about height are well-taken.

I have been crazy about men of all statures. I was once nuts about a man who was an inch shorter than me. He was successful, fun,handy, could do just about anything. I felt totally safe and protected around him. I swear, if the two of us had been in a nuclear war together, I would have felt safe in his presence.

However, some of the examples you cited: Tom and Nicole--that marriage was a joke, as is his union with Katie.

Christie is just ending her fourth marriage and Billy has had three.

Tawny Kitaen
is no prize. She is a druggie who lost custody of her two daughters and was reported to physically abuse her ex-husband, Chuck Finley. In fact, she was arrested quite recently for drug possession.

These are not people I have
any desire to emulate, and I wouldn't want any of the aforementioned men. That said,
I wouldn't object to having Christie's looks.

Terry said...

After watching The Surreal Life, I probably wouldn't emulate Tawny Kitaen, either, but she showed good taste when she dated Stewart (but maybe not so so much when she married the dude from Whitesnake).

Scot McKay said...

Oh, I think Emily could talk your ear off about this topic.

I'm the first (and last?) guys she has dated under 6'.

I get emails daily from guys for whom this is their "limiting belief".

I personally believe that most women don't find short guys as distasteful as they find the stereotypical short-guy attitude.

Rock on, Terry. Good stuff.

Anonymous said...

Being a short man is like being an overweight woman -- you become sexually invisible to the other gender unless you have LOTS of other things going for you to compensate.

And as a short man I can understand this! If I were a woman I'd want a tall guy too.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous is right. It's all genetic really. If you're a man and shorter than about 5'8", you can pretty much forget about dating and relationships. That's. Just. The. Way. It. Is. You have two choices, let it eat you inside until you go insane, or find happiness in some other way, because because finding the woman for you... well, trust me, not going to happen. Biology has given most women an innate revulsion against shorter men. The couples the writer of this article mentioned are merely statistical aberrations, and don't hold your breath waiting for a statistical aberration to come and bring you happiness. Short guys, you've been dealt a lousy hand by life, but no one ever claimed life was fair. That's just the way things are.

Terry said...

Sorry, but I have to disagree. I'm a woman, and I've been attracted to short men. I completely agree with Scot when he says it's a short guy's attitude that turns women off.

2-ro said...

Hey anonymous, who are you? I'm referring to the anonymous who said that dudes under 5'8" should forget about dating. I think you owe it to the readers of this blog to disclose whether you're a man or a woman and your size. And I think that attitude is ridiculous. I am a man who stands 5'7" on a good day (usually just a shade under. like 5'6.5") and I've experienced ups and downs. I've had wonderfully loving relationships with women who were under 5 feet, eye to eye with me, and in between. The break-ups were ALWAYS rough. I've been totally humiliated by other women. And I just ended something with a 5'4" girl who seemed perfect and while she had always dated tall dudes and told me i was her shortest ever (and remarked at times that I made her feel big), for a while she made me feel like the man of her dreams. Then she flip-flopped all over the place. Height probably played some role but life is very complicated. The bulk of my romantic experiences occurred during and just after high school. During college and after (I am 25) I have met a LOT of women for whom height was an utter deal-breaker or at least a major obstacle. At the end of the day dating is no picnic for anyone and even the most attractive people can find themselves stuck in a relationship that makes them unhappy. Does it suck that shorter men are literally cut-off from a large portion of women? Of course. Does it suck that as a short man I have to have the personality of a woman's dreams for her to love me while tall men can be assholes and still keep her hot for them? Maybe. But it also sucks that some kids get leukemia. If you want to be a womanizer and you're my size you're probably not going to have much luck. If you are looking for real, honest love, you have as much luck as anyone else...it's a crapshoot and even super sexy people might not find someone that ignites their soul over the long haul, because life is a looooong haul. All you can do is pursue your interests, be positive, be productive, and never let your inner spark expire. That goes for men AND women of ALL sizes. I'm still hoping to make a woman sublimely happy someday who wants to do the same for me, and by gum I'm gonna stay in shape and keep my teeth clean to keep my chances strong! Love, y'all....

Anonymous said...

i am 5'6" and 23. I've been having sex with all kinds of girls since i turned 15. I've been in long term relationships and had many one night stands or short term friends with benefits. Obviously being short has not stopped me from living my life, the shortest girl i've been with was prly 5'4" and have hooked up with three girls who were prly 2 inches taller than me. I'm not even that cute either. The only things I could think that may attract women are the fact that i'm a musician (guitar player since i was 13), am in the military, and drive a nice Mitsubishi Eclipse. Either way at 5'6" i've been with more attractive girls than most of my taller friends :)

Andrew said...

2-ro your absolutely right!

"All you can do is pursue your interests, be positive, be productive, and never let your inner spark expire. That goes for men AND women of ALL sizes. I'm still hoping to make a woman sublimely happy someday who wants to do the same for me, and by gum I'm gonna stay in shape and keep my teeth clean to keep my chances strong!"

In my opinion I think this is the best advice posted for us short males. Personally I love taller women and standing at a 5'4" stature they're not hard to find. Don't get me wrong I date women of all heights. Most importantly I need a women that is caring, open minded, educated, financially sound, and healthy.

P.S.- SHORT GUYS!!! Avoid dating online!!