The other day someone asked me if she were a prude because she didn't feel like sleeping with some guy on their third date.
According to the box in her living room, Date 3 marks the customary kick-off for a new sexual relationship. If you're unwilling to hit the sheets with a new male by then, you may be branded a frigid loser and tossed onto the reject pile.
Guys have expressed reservations to me about this so-called rule, too. If they don't make a move by the third time out, some women accuse them of being weird or gay. But think about it: What kind of man gets into bed with women from the get-go?
Guys who think James Bond is a real person.
Guys who need to feel better about themselves.
Guys who have absolutely no self-control.
Put it this way, if a guy keeps pushing you, a virtual stranger, for sex right away, chances are he's pushing every other virtual stranger for sex right away. He probably won't make an ideal boyfriend.
I know what you're thinking. Sometimes a couple will click immediately. I do believe in love at first sight. But, most of the time after a third date, a woman doesn't even know if a guy picks his nose at traffic lights, let alone if he harbors a contagious lung disease. As for me, I would probably like to have a fair idea of a dude's hygiene practices before making serious contact. Why learn the hard way he gave up showers for well-targeted squirts of Axe Body Spray?
By the third date, you're just getting to know a person. Sure, you may be really attracted to the guy, but wouldn't you rather know that he still lives in his parents' basement before you sleep with him? Does he possess the characteristics you want in a friend? Is he worthy of your respect and admiration?
In the end, we all need a friend we can respect and admire.
When you sleep with a person you don't know, you don't know him any better afterwards. You don't really know if he likes you, or if you like him (although you may tell yourself you do to justify the sex). You don't know if he's honest, trustworthy, or kind, and he knows none of those things about you.
You're walking around with a big scary question mark in your head, and for what? Everybody keep your clothes on!