Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Dating For Looks and Money

This morning's Today featured a segment about speed dating with a twist: To participate, the men must possess lots of cash, and the women must be worthy to mount a catwalk. When asked how he came up with the idea, the founder said, "Well, men want a woman who's beautiful, and women want a man with a lot of money."

Sigh.

I'm aware a market truly exists for this nonsense. I had a good friend who qualified as a perfect 10 (long blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect features, great body, and so on) who rarely dated guys unless she'd inspected their W-2 forms first. Not surprisingly, she went out with a bunch of rich guys who wanted to be seen with a gorgeous girl.

She qualified as the most miserable woman I've ever met. Money didn't make up for the fact that most of the guys she ended up with were hopelessly boring (I'm not saying all rich men are boring, but she tended to attract the ones who were) or had intolerable breath. It didn't help that she had a sneaking suspicion that if she ever suffered a disfiguring accident, they'd dump her in a hurry.

At one point, she fell for a not-rich guy, who just didn't return her affection. When he broke up with her, he told her, "You're drop-dead beautiful, but I don't think we have much in common," which pretty much trounces Mr. Innovation-in-Speed-Dating's theory.

Money and looks are great. Hey, I'd rather have them than not, but I'd take a kind, honest, fun guy over some self-entitled, boring loser with a big bank account. And, as for being beautiful, who among us doesn't want to be? But isn't it better to be wih a guy who makes you happy and loves you for you, and not because you're the human equivalent of a luxury car?

Experience has shown me that all women don't want a rich man. All men don't want a beautiful woman. I remember reading a quote by Gene Wilder about his attraction to one particular woman (it may have been Gilda Radner). He said something to the effect of, "She's not the prettiest one in the room, but she's the one for me."

Charm beats beauty, and it outlasts it, too.

2 comments:

aisling said...

Somehow, though, I think there is a happy medium between these extremes, i.e., a woman who is attractive but not drop-dead gorgeous should be able to hope she finds a man who has his act together and is reasonably successful. JMHO

Very few of us want to marry Donald Trump or Bill Gates.

Terry said...

No woman should ever marry a man who doesn't have his act together or isn't reasonably successful. The guy should be able live within his means without being cheap, too (I really hate a cheap guy).

I don't advocate being shallow, but I don't recommend settling, either.