I love your blog, Terry.
Is it possible to find a man you feel chemistry with, and who is available? Seems like most of the men I find (I'm in my 40s) who are available at my age are boring or losers. I am a romantic and refuse to give up on sexual chemistry and romance. But I'm just not excited about the men I've met. And I don't feel it's because I'm picky. I believe that most of the good men in my age range are taken, and will be unless their wives die. And I WON'T settle!
There are no bargains out there.
I understand where you're coming from. I dated my share of losers, or guys who who were very nice but bored the hell out of me. The only thing that changed things (and it certainly did change things) was:
1. Writing a list of what I did not want in a man (that was easy).
2. Writing a list of the opposites of what I didn't want, which gave me a definite idea of what I did want.
3. Bringing a man with those specific qualities to life in my imagination (using all five senses and really feeling it. It didn't happen at first, but the more I practiced the easier--and more detailed--my vision became).
4. Repeating #3 morning, noon, and night (and whenever I was, say, trying to avoid making eye contact while riding the subway).
It took a little while, but then really attractive, fun, and available men started to come my way. I married one of them. Almost 15 years later, we're still married and actually happy about it.
The Law of Attraction works.
If you believe "there are no bargains out there," that's what you're going to get. You must believe that there's at least one guy on this vast planet of ours who possesses the qualities you want, desires a relationship, and is emotionally and legally available to have one.
Bring him to life in your imagination. Keep it up and see what happens.
I used to hate Valentine's Day.