Tales of a Slothful Shopper

I really am amazed at the amount of Christmas shopping I've done.

I started yesterday. I was completely unmotivated, so I'm surprised I managed to get so many good gifts at such good prices. What luck! I went out again today and knocked off all but five people on my list. I just have to buy gifts for Mommy, Daddy, Peter and the girls now.

Yesterday, I went shopping with V. After we finished the Christmas end of it, we drove over to Nature's Way, a health food emporium I've been dying to check out. Paradise! I ended up buying several things I'd read about in Kat James' The Truth About Beauty and happened upon the Slim Tea my mother and I used to order from the back of a magazine in 1985.

It worked pretty well, that ol' Slim Tea, and I lost a good deal of weight. My friend, Eilis, however, was convinced it was in my head. She has a brother who worked as a chemist at Guinness in Dublin. She wanted to send him a sample for examination, but I wouldn't part with a single tea bag.

So I bought myself a big box of Slim Tea yesterday and will break it out shortly. I wouldn't mind dropping five (or ten!) pounds, especially as party season dawns.

What else? Oh, well, the Christmas cards are nearly finished. We are having a hell of a time getting the offspring to pose for a decent picture, though. We've already put ourselves through two frustrating sessions, where they made goofy faces and gave each other devil horns. Peter took one acceptable photo, but it turned out too dark. He thought he could fix it on the photo machine at the store, gave it a whirl, and ordered fifty copies. The result was catastrophic; no way am I sending those photos. I'll be the laughing stock of Christmas 2004.

How do I know this? Because, let's face it, people go through their mail and and criticize Christmas photos. They pass them around and make jokes about the cheesy backgrounds. They snicker at the pretentious photography. They goof on little Tommy's triangular head.

Admit it. You do it, too.

But, if my children cooperate, we'll give it another go. If not, sorry about the empty card this year.

I tried.