Carson May Be a Fathead...

But Regis is worse.

Forgive me, Carson. I was wrong.

You may be the oldest, stiffest, creepiest 31-year-old on the planet, but by comparison, Regis is just old. And at the same time your New Year's Eve show broadcast a performance by Maroon 5, Regis had Rod Stewart doing "It's a Wonderful World," via satellite.

And it sucked.

Rod Stewart gets my vote for the least hip human on the planet, despite his desperate attempts to prove himself otherwise.

And you have Conan, Carson, and I like Conan.

The offspring are still among us. Or me, anyway. After the Anchorman viewing, Peter packed it in. He's fast asleep.

Avril Lavigne is on. Oh joy! The offspring adore Avril. She is everything they want to be, and supposedly, she doesn't even lipsync!

Next up, Duran Duran. I must watch.