Faith For Love and Romance

"By believing passionately in something that does not yet exist, we create it."
-Nikos Kazantzakis

Online Dating Works

According to Karl Fisch, one out of every eight couples who got married last year in the U.S. met online.

For more fascinating facts, check out this video.

glumbert.com - Shift Happens

Self-Acceptance

"You will not always feel confident; sometimes your stomach will be tied up in knots and perspiration will break out all over your face. Your nervousness will be visible to other people; they may look at you curiously. Or, you may do something rash, injuring your own interests or rudely stepping on someones else's toes. Your imperfections are many--everyone is imperfect, really--and your must learn to accept this. You must understand that your blunders are not your total personality; they are just a part of you, and this is a part which you must accept to be successful. Otherwise you will dedicate your days to an avalanche of self-castigation which will leave you miserable, head bowed, a failure at almost anything you try. You must not look to others for acceptance; this is something you must give yourself."

--Maxwell Maltz, M.D., Creative Living For Today, Pocket Books, 1967

How to Meet New People Without Leaving the House

You know I recommend Irish Penpals as a means to make a new friend of either sex. It's free, and the friend you make doesn't have to be Irish. The site boasts members from all over the world.

But another site that caught my attention is TUT's Village, from Mike Dooley, who calls it a spiritual community for friends or for dating. It's also free. Click here. Once you get there, click 'Resources,' and finally, 'Village.'

Glen Colello recommends GreenFriends.com, which bills itself as the "best and largest site in the world for progressive singles and friends interested in vegetarianism, environmental protection, peace, and animal rights."

Worth a look.

Catching a Healthy Habit

Had a great time with Alison and Kristen at The Dressing Room Restaurant. I had a sashimi salad for lunch, which included mixed greens and a bed of quinoa, cooked just so. Really good. It's a cozy place, too.

Alison demonstrated the new kinesiology technique. That was fun, and I've seen benefits already. Her goal is to replace limiting beliefs with better ones; people usually work on self-esteem, health, and prosperity issues.

Peter is still in South Carolina with his family. His father is not doing well. Peter's not so hot, either; he's not saying it, but I can hear it in his voice. He always looked up to his father, and it must be difficult to see him helpless.

On Saturday night, I went to dinner at Kristen's. Her brother, Glen Colello, is a raw food chef, so he and his partner, Lisa Storch, provided the meal. I never knew raw food could be something you'd crave after eating it just once. I certainly didn't know I could get full on it.

They served a caesar salad, and then a pasta made from zucchini and covered with an out-of-this-world tomato and pesto sauce. We had a chocolate pudding for dessert. Everything was organic and vegan.

Some people, like my friend, B, don't understand my interest in healthful living. "You gotta die of something," he says. But my goal is to die happily in my own bed at an advanced age, instead of hooked up to an IV in a hospital full of strangers. I don't want to die of cancer, a stroke, or heart disease. They're horrible ways to go.

And the more I read about meat production, the less I want to be party to it. So I gave up meat for Lent and haven't looked back. I don't ever use the word "vegetarian." I just avoid meat. Peter made lamb for Easter, and I just ate the potatoes and the green bean casserole (prepared with Campbell's cream-of-whatever soup and Durkee onions; healthful indeed!). I didn't feel it necessary to make an announcement about it.

It's not like I'm a card-carrying member of PETA, either. While growing up, I made a point to avoid TV shows about animals, like Wild Kingdom. Even today, if I'm up late with Jay Leno, and a guest turns out to be one of those guys who hangs out with monkeys, I change the channel. It's not that I don't like animals. I'm just not particularly interested in them.

But when I worked for Routledge, Chapman & Hall, we distributed a book about the connection between meat consumption and violence. At Kristen's house, the vegans agreed that they react differently to situations since giving up meat.

Glen reports a 100% improvement in his once-troubled back since giving up dairy (a pretty daunting prospect for an Italian kid brought up on ricotta and mozzarella) because it's highly inflammatory. I'd like to summon the courage to give up dairy. I've tried once or twice before.

Yeah, I know this post has nothing at all to do with dating. Moving along now.

Visualization Is Key to the Love You Want

Just realized that the trip to Ireland I wrote about in the previous post occurred 19 years ago last week. The reason for that trip was a wedding in Clare.

Kristen Colello, who will have lunch with Alison and me tomorrow, is writing a book about healthful eating entitled, No Strawberries, Please. She dropped over yesterday with Living Nutrition, a magazine she reads.

In it, an interview conducted by David Klein, Ph.D. included a lovely testimonial about the power of visualization by an author named Susan Smith Jones:

"I recommend that people start with very easy-to-achieve goals so they an experience success and feel empowered. Visualization is a very important part of the process. You must be able to see yourself achieving your goal.

When I am visualizing a goal, I accept it and give thanks that it is already part of my reality. Simply put, act 'as if.' You don't want to push your goal into the future. And I always end my visualizations with, 'This or something better I now accept in my life.' I do that because even thought I may be clear on what I want, I am always living in the presence of a Higher Power that knows my highest good."

Visualization is integral to success in all aspects of your life, especially relationships. Please do not ever discount it.

Matt Lauer, an Aran Sweater, and Clearing Limiting Beliefs

Matt Lauer of Today reports from Ireland today, and it's hard to pull myself away from the television. I haven't been to Ireland in years, but I hope to go again soon. I'd like for Peter to see Scotland, too, since that's where his family emigrated from when they settled in Nova Scotia.

Tomorrow, I'm going to see Alison Held at her new office. She's going to demonstrate a kinesiology technique she recently studied. I'm to bring along a limiting belief I'd like to release.

I have two in mind:

-I suffer from the metabolism of a caterpillar

-I will never enjoy clear vision again without contact lenses

I'm sure if I think hard enough, I can come up with a couple of others, but Alison says we must concentrate on just one. I believe wholeheartedly that uncovering and evaporating limiting beliefs is the key to success in every area in one's life.

If you believe that every man you date will ultimately disappoint you, guess what? He will.

After Alison and I succeed at puncturing the belief of my choice, we'll be off to the Dressing Room restaurant. I do not know the owners personally, but they are my heroes (along with Stephen Colbert and Julia Butterfly Hill).

Tomorrow Peter and I will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. He wants to go out for dinner; the plan is to ditch the offspring. Since we take them out for dinner once a week, it shouldn't traumatize them.

Prayer request: Peter's father was diagnosed with cancer last week. Peter will fly to South Carolina on Friday to be with him and his mother.

Matt Lauer is now discussing Aran sweaters with the people in Galway. I had an Aran sweater once; a man named Dan Flaherty drove my friends and me in his Michael Hernon tour van to Michael Hernon's pub. Dan then steered us to his house to meet his wife, Sarah, who made Aran sweaters for a living. I bought one for not much and wore it every day to my job at Routledge, Chapman & Hall in New York, where they kept the temperature around 40 degrees.

And then, one morning, I went into my office drawer and found it had been stolen.

More About the Imus Flap

Yeah, by now it is old news, but this is the most intelligent piece on the subject I've read so far.

Why I Won't Introduce Him to My Single Friends

I know a guy who most women would find desirable if they saw him listed on a dating website. He's not bad looking, is educated, has a well-paying job, and owns primo real estate.

He's always asking me, "Don't you know any nice single women?" Of course I do. They're everywhere. But I'm reluctant to introduce him to any of them.

He's stuck in a groove of work, eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep, complain about being single, work, eat, sleep, quick vacation, work, eat, sleep, buy a new car, work, eat, sleep, complain...

The dude needs to climb out of it. Take more than one vacation a year, for instance, and stop taking it with the same lame-o friend who hates women. Put yourself in a place where you'll make some new friends who'll introduce you to other new friends and new experiences.

The guy always drives a beautiful car, but he never goes anywhere. He lives in an incredible house, but he rarely invites anyone over. He did have an excellent party (he's a great cook and a good host) several years ago, but everybody on the guest list was married. Surely some of those married people had a single friend or two they could have brought along.

He should take a little more initiative. It would make him more attractive, for one thing. What woman wants to date a guy she has to drag around like a sack of bricks?

The other thing that holds me back from introducing him around: He's moody as hell. If his basketball team loses, he goes into a funk. He's just ridiculous to be around. Other things, little things, set him off as well.

I'm just not willing to take responsibility for hooking a friend up with a landmine. Maybe if he ever decides to stop being so willing to be bummed out, I'll reconsider.

A friend of mine did introduce him to a lovely woman, but he rejected her for not being "good-looking enough." This set the friend who'd made the connection on fire. The lovely woman, while not a great beauty, hardly qualified as repellent. She fit safely into the average category, as does this guy. My friend vowed never to set him up again.

Today Is My Birthday...

...and I am younger than springtime.

Someone said to me a couple of years ago, "Oh, you mustn't like having birthdays, anymore," as if I were some sort of fossil. I'm not, by the way, anything close to a fossil. But I've had friends who started complaining about feeling old at the age of 25.

One such friend is B, who is two months and two weeks older than me. He is forever saying, "Well, I'm old now." His wife, who is even younger than me, says things like, "It's over for me, so I'm living through the kids now."

This is just not my attitude.

Anybody who has ever met my father knows that he is not the most positive human in the universe ("Why must you always be so negative?" my mother used to ask him), but one good thing he taught me was to not talk yourself, or let yourself be talked into, old age. This man, who scoffed at positive thinking and described himself as not a pessimist but a realist, went around the house telling us, "I'm younger than springtime."

"Getting a little gray there, Dad," we'd say.

"My hair isn't gray," he'd answer. "It's sandy."

Today, this guy is 75 and swims every morning. He lives in Manhattan so he can walk everywhere, and he does. He does not take cabs under any circumstances. He walks down and across town to visit my brother. He will take the subway to visit one of my sisters in Queens, or to visit some old priest at Fordham University in the Bronx.

Age really doesn't mean much. Peter's brother, an athlete, died of an aneurysm at the age of 20. His great aunt still lives on her own, shops, cooks, and throws dinner parties at the age of 102.

For many years, we didn't know what her age was because she kept it a secret. She wasn't ashamed of it, but she knew that if it were common knowledge, people would treat her differently. They would limit her.

I choose not to be limited. Every day is a gift, whether you're 20 or a 102. Today is my birthday, and I am younger than springtime.

EFT Can Help Clear the Beliefs That Blow Your Chances At Love

To attract a love that truly makes you happy, it helps to give up limiting beliefs about men and relationships. I've written extensively about the seemingly intractable ideas that once hampered my own efforts. I eventually succeeded at "overwriting" them through affirmation and visualization.

But I've had beliefs about other areas of my life that subsided after using a method called the Emotional Freedom Technique. I experienced big changes in my confidence, for one thing.

Also, while my mother was dying of a brain tumor (and for a year afterwards), I functioned well during the day, but I suffered from insomnia and panic attacks at night. Amazingly, after one session with Alison Held, an EFT practitioner and founder of Healthful Direction, I slept peacefully. I can't say enough about her.

If you're interested in working with Alison, and you don't live in Connecticut, she can help you achieve results over the phone.

I'm very excited to be meeting her next Wednesday, May 2 (my wedding anniversary) to clear yet another pesky limiting belief.

For a free ebook about EFT and how to use it, check out Gary Craig's very excellent website.

I'm Not Slow, Really I'm Not

But I finally have a Technorati Profile.

Russell Simmons Discusses the Law of Attraction With Stephen Colbert

The entrepreneur promotes his new book, Do You!: 12 Laws to Access the Power in You to Achieve Happiness and Success, on The Colbert Report. If you listen carefully, you'll hear him mention the Law of Attraction.

Great Law of Attraction Resources

On Saturday, I had the good fortune to find a package from Viveca Stone-Berry in my mailbox. It contained a copy of Catherine Ponder's Dynamic Laws of Prayer.

Catherine Ponder is a favorite author of mine, but I'd never read this one of her many books. Her Dynamic Laws of Prosperity helped me out of a couple of jams, and Viveca enjoyed much improved health after reading Dynamic Laws of Healing.

Here's a list of some other books I've found extremely helpful in achieving success in love and other matters:

Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life (Gawain, Shakti) (I've given this wonderful, so easy-to-follow book as a gift to friends and strangers.)

Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting: The Astonishing Power of Feelings

Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don't

The Magic of Believing

The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, Revised Edition

The Attractor Factor: 5 Easy Steps for Creating Wealth (or Anything Else) from the Inside Out ( Jessica Biel says she used this book in attracting her role in The Illusionist).

I definitely recommend Summer McStravick's wonderful CDs, which guide you through the attraction process. Very convenient. Try Flowdreaming for Happy Relationships.

Another Plug For Irish Penpals

I received an email today from a German friend I made through Irish Penpals about seven years ago. She and I started writing when her daughter was nine; the girl is now 16.

I made another friend in England, and we've been writing since her son was 16. He's now in his early 20s. This friend and I exchange Christmas and birthday presents every year. We've also exchanged books, and she made a tape of a Steve Coogan show for me that somehow got destroyed by the postal service.

One of the perks of Irish Penpals is that you can indicate the sex and approximate age of a friend you'd like to make.

A guy from Florida wrote to the site's founder, Michael Green, to say that he'd met his wife, a German woman, through the program.

It's fun, it's free, and you have nothing to lose. Take a look.

More About the Man Surge in New York City

From yesterday's New York Times article by Sam Roberts:

"Since 2000, men, mostly between the ages of 25 and 44, have accounted for more than three-fourths of the population increase in Lower Manhattan. As a result, according to a special census calculation, the sex ratio there increased to 126 men per 100 women in 2005, from 101 men per 100 women in 2000."

Where the Boys Are Now

"Men now outnumber women in Lower Manhattan by a ratio of 126 to 100, a disparity usually seen only in towns with prisons or military bases."

--The New York Times, Sunday, April 22, 2007

Cruise For Singles

We're no longer accepting reservations for the cruise in August. Please check this space for news of the next one!

A River Still Runs Through It

Last Sunday's storm hit us hard.

We still have a river running through our basement and garage; it'll remain there until the water table drops. The Amazing V was housesitting for L, who's in England visiting in-laws, and stayed up until 3 AM shop vacuuming L's giganto basement.

Then she went home and cleaned up her own.

I'm not getting too worked up about our water situation. I have to look at it positively. Now that we know where the house is vulnerable, we can fix it.

On Thursday, I took Child One into Manhattan to visit my brother and to see Blades of Glory. The kid is a Will Ferrell addict. For Easter, I bought her SNL: The Best of Will Ferrell, and I've seen the cow bell skit at least 46 times now. I know Will Ferrell's body better than my own husband's.

Peter says Will must have a clause in his contract that allows him to strip down to his BVDs at least once in every movie (athough I think he remained clothed in Stranger Than Fiction). During Blades of Glory, it occured to me that the man must stay up nights thinking up ways to make himself repulsive.

The most hilarious part of that movie was, for me, when Will gave Jon Heder a tour of his tattoos.

The weather has finally broken here in New England. I am absolutely thrilled.

About Love and Relationships

This morning Ronnie Ann Ryan will interview me for a podcast she'll make available to her audience.